It seems I haven't written in a while. But really, I have. I just haven't published them...
January 23
Last night, we found out we are pregnant.
My period was late. Later than usual. Normally I have 30-32 days in my cycle, but it was day 37 and I still had nothing. I had some suspicions since I was feeling really tired, and my chest region was feeling uncomfortable. But, I've had so many negative pregnancy tests in the past 3 years, I did not want to get my hopes up. But at the same time, I wanted to get it over with and know so I didn't have to wait around for another period to show up.
I took the test, and set a time to come back and look at it. I wanted to be pregnant, but I was trying really hard to tell myself that I'm not pregnant and I shouldn't even be taking a test. You know, to keep my hopes down (even though they were already sky high, as usual...).
Lance wanted to look first. He looked at it, then said, "We're not."
So I went and looked at it... and... well...
Lance thought that since one of the lines on the "plus" was faded it meant we weren't. But we're totally pregnant!
And then I cried.
Finally.
Today I've been so excited all day! All I want to talk about is being pregnant, and babies, and baby stuff. I feel really bloated and have a lot of pressure in my lower tummy area. I'm really tired and I wanted to take a nap, but I couldn't sleep because I'm so excited.
Today we told Lance's sisters and my brother Jared. I also told my boss, Donni, since my due date directly affects my job's busiest time of the year when they normally ask that we don't take extra time off.
September 22nd, is my due date.
And I am SO EXCITED!!!
January 30
This week has been difficult, to put it lightly.
Monday I took Lily to EPCOT. We rode Nemo, Living With the Land, The Grand Fiesta Tour, Test Track, and Spaceship Earth. It was a great afternoon together. I figured I shouldn't ride exciting rides much longer, so I want to get a last few in before it's too late.
The rest of the week I felt like crap. My stomach hurts. My head hurts. I can't eat anything without feeling queasy and yet if I eat nothing it's worse. They say every pregnancy is different but this is polar opposite of Lily! Is it my age? My physical shape? Both? Blegh.
So back in November, Lily told us we needed to buy presents for our baby. "It's got eyes and a mouth and it looks like a girl," she told us.
She ended up being right about the baby, but we have yet to see about the gender. However, now she is telling us there is a brother and a sister. She's told us a few times. That scares me. A lot.
I'm craving soup and bread and potatoes. So, that's what's on the menu this week. That is, if I can stand long enough to cook without passing out. I feel like all muscle tone has been drained from my body. This baby is literally sucking the life out of me.
February 4
I'm 7 weeks today!
My boss and friend, Donni, told me that extra iron helped her during her pregnancies "at an advanced age." When I was pregnant with Lily, the iron in my blood was low, and my doctor recommended that I take extra iron. So because of that, I figured it would be fine to take extra this time. I'm currently taking over 300% of the daily recommended value of iron and I feel great! Too great! It's only been a couple of days, but I'm starting to feel so good that I worry what that means for baby.
Food aversions are getting better, but they're not perfect. I went to the grocery store and bought everything that sounded good, and then none of it sounded good the next day. Or any day after that.
Today I made chili and roasted potatoes for dinner. It was ok. But I really miss food being wonderful. It's such a chore lately.
I really want to make and can some homemade salsa. I think that would be something good to snack on.
I took Lily to Hollywood Studios yesterday. We had fun together. We went to the Frozen singalong, and I didn't feel emotional, but I had tears pouring from my eyes. Lily was adorable singing the songs. It was super cute!
Today I went to bed at 4am, and Lily was up at 6am. At 10am I finally convinced her to come lay down with me. And we both slept until 2:30. It was awesome.
Right now I don't feel so great. I don't think I had enough water today. Feeling really thirsty.
By the way, soda tastes like crap. It's good because it got me to quit Coke cold turkey. But the caffeine withdrawals were nasty for the first few days.
February 11
This week has been rough.
My main pregnancy symptom is fatigue. But, I was already always tired, so no biggie, right? Wrong. I can't do jack. It's hard to get out of bed before noon. It's 1:15 right now and Lily has woken me up every hour since 9am. Lance's alarm woke me up at 5:45. So that means the longest uninterrupted stretch I slept last night was 6am to 9am.
My house is a disaster. Lance has helped, but cleaning once a week does nothing in the big picture. We have laundry everywhere, both clean and dirty. Dirty dishes are piled up, cereal is spilled and ground into the carpet, and a %&#@$ dog that thinks the office is a toilet. I can't take care of myself, let alone a toddler, husband, two dogs, and a house, while also working full time in the middle of the night AND being pregnant. I am over the edge. I need help but I have no one. I am alone. I am depressed.
I started locking the dogs in the office at night. Lily used to let them out of the office in the morning and scream and chase them around and I was tired of it waking me up. I also thought maybe it was stressing them out and that's why the poop but it hasn't helped. And yes, I'm taking the dogs out enough. There also was an incident where Bentley bit Lily on the face. Before this happened we have tried explaining to Lily not to tease the dogs. We've yelled at her. We've given her time outs. And spankings. She will not listen. So no, I wasn't surprised. I believe Bentley did everything she could to get away from Lily. But Lily chases them, squeals at them, pulls their legs and traps them in a corner. It was Bentley's last resort to bite Lily, and it didn't break the skin, which also told me that Bentley didn't want to hurt Lily, she wanted Lily to leave her alone. I don't know what to do. Obviously my dogs aren't good with kids. And no, this didn't teach Lily anything. Her behavior has not changed. I even went as far as showing her the picture of my dad after a dog ripped his nose off. It goes both ways though, if Bentley starts growling at Lily, I send Bentley out of the room.
I've been cooking, but cooking is hard when all food makes you want to puke. I haven't puked, but the aversions are extreme. Basically all I want to eat is salad and potatoes. No meat, no cheese, no onion. Even most dressings are gross. Baked potatoes with butter, sour cream and seasoned salt are my staple. Most food gives me heartburn.
My underwear is already too tight. And I'm only 8 weeks along. I think it's just bloating.
All of this being said, I'm still extremely grateful to be pregnant. I've wanted this for so long. Some days I don't feel so bad, and I try to do something fun with Lily. On Monday, I took her to Animal Kingdom. We had fun together on a safari and saw giraffes, hippos, rhinos, elephants, warthogs, cheetahs, lions, wild dogs, okapi, zebras, crocodiles and more I can't remember the names of. We had lunch at Pizzafari, which is usually delicious but not this time due to my aversions. But Lily requested it. We went on Dinosaur because Lily loves Dinosaurs. And we went on Triceratops Spin. It was a short visit, but it was something.
March 19
The past month has been a bit of a roller coaster. I'm trying to be better about at least getting the dishes done each day. Most days I have to do them twice. Especially if I'm cooking dinner.
My house is still trashed, and I'm not sure that will change any time soon.
You probably thing I'm exaggerating the state of my house, but I can assure you, I'm not.
My sweet grandma passed away two weeks ago. My heart broke. It's hard because I know the last couple of years were miserable for her, but I still didn't want her to go.
I miss her.
When I was pregnant with Lily, she would call me every week just to see how I was doing.
I wish I had seen her more. We went to her house every once in a while, but I never really made it a priority.
At her funeral, my aunt Carla said, "How else would each of her 20 grandchildren think they were her favorite?" And I just thought to myself, "I never thought I was her favorite." I know she loved me, and she always made me feel special, but I don't open up and connect with people very easily. It's hard to be someone's favorite if you don't even open up to them.
On a slightly related note, what is up with people who I love dearly passing away when I'm pregnant? Lance's dad died when I was first pregnant with Lily. Now my grandma, with baby #2. Let's not repeat this again, ok?
Also, apparently I can only have babies on leap years. ;-) Lily was born in 2012, and this one will be born in 2016.
4 years apart, that's quite the gap. But Lily is so, so, excited. She has been to my first two doctor visits, and she loves seeing the baby.
She says that she has a baby in her tummy too. She says hers is a girl and mommy's is a boy.
Daddy was scratching his tummy the other day, and Lily looked at him and said, "Your baby is growing!" Hahaha! He has a bit to lose around the middle, I guess.
At my last appointment, my doctor asked what my pre-pregnancy weight was. I gave her the last number I saw on the scale. Then she told me we were already at +10.
I panicked.
And then I realized, we're comparing a butt naked weight, to a fully clothed in jeans and shoes weight.
And then I also realized, my battery died on my scale last summer, so my "pre-pregnancy" weight is from 6 months ago. Before Christmas, and a Utah trip, and Emilee's wedding trip.... So I got online and looked up my weight from my first visit. It was the same as my second visit.
I'm counting my first visit's weight as my pre-pregnancy weight. Because I couldn't eat anything anyway.
Weight is something I obsess about a little too much. So telling me I've gained 10 pounds in 12 weeks is not a good thing to do. My immediate reaction was to stop eating.
I also got my blood test last week. I looked up the results online and my MCV was high. I haven't talked to my doctor about it yet, but what that means is:
Mean corpuscular volume (MCV) is the average volume of red cells.
And what does that mean, exactly? Well, according to another Google search:
In pernicious anemia (macrocytic), MCV can range up to 150 femtolitres. An elevated MCV is also associated with alcoholism (as are an elevated GGT and a ratio of AST:ALT of 2:1). Vitamin B12 and/or folic acid deficiency has also been associated with macrocytic anemia (high MCVnumbers).
I forgot to pack my pre-natals when I spent a week in Utah, so perhaps that is the cause. I'm not sure though. For now, I'm trying to be more diligent with them, and I'll talk to my doctor again on April 11.
