Is There Oil In My Lamp?

Yes, but very little. 

I have realized this over the past few months.  My spiritual side is practically starving to death, and today it has finally been fed. I went to all three meetings today.  I am so proud of myself and my husband.  We also met with the elder's quorum president, and our home teachers.

One of my biggest worries about going to more than just Sacrament meeting was that people would constantly ask if we were new... Surprise surprise, people knew who we were!  I realized that my fear was silly, and I shouldn't worry about such silly things.  The only thing I should worry about is what my Heavenly Father thinks of me, and that I'm doing the best I can.

There has been so much focus on temples lately, and I'm really feeling the push to go more often.  The only problem is that my recommend is expired.  So, I'm going to get it renewed, and I have a goal to go every Saturday morning.  I would like someone to go with me, so if anybody who reads this wants to go, or already does go on Saturday mornings and wouldn't mind a tagalong, please let me know!  I have this problem of not wanting to do things by myself.  I guess that's something that comes with growing up in a family with 6 kids; you're never alone.  It's something I need to work on, I guess.  Or I just need to make friends in the ward so I don't feel alone.

I'm glad I put a few extra drops of oil in my lamp today, and hope I can continue to add more.  I think overall I'll have a happier attitude about things... and you guys won't have to read my negative blogs anymore!  Win win. :)

Bentley

We took Bentley in to get her spayed today.  The doctor called about an hour later asking if she'd been dropped or had some type of trauma recently... and she hasn't.  He told us her blood count was very high, so they were going to run some tests on her.  She may have a liver problem.  I don't really know all the details, but I'm so worried.  She has brought so much joy to my life.  I love snuggling with her at night, playing with her in the morning, and how excited and happy she is to see me when I get home from work.  I really hope it's not serious.  I love her.  I don't want to lose her.

Twitter, Hair, Farmington, Cars...etc., etc.

I'm frustrated, and I want to vent... but at the same time I don't want to be frustrated, so I feel like venting is not a good idea right now.  Ugh!  Mixed emotions stink!!!

So I joined Twitter and I've been following some pretty cool peeps (celebrities).  It's a lot of fun.  I like how it brings the "untouchable" celebrities down to a level that makes them seem more relatable.  My favorite people to get tweets from are Deron Williams, CJ Miles and Dwight Howard.  They're really cool people, and I feel like I could hang with them.  In reality, I probably can't, but I like to feel like I can. :)

I'm getting my hair done today... yayz!!  It's been 10 weeks!  Ick!  I usually get it done every 6 weeks, but money has been kind of tight lately.  I'm so happy that I can get it done today.  Last time, Kellyanne used this sexy purple-brown color.  I looked hawt, but it faded super fast.  I think I'm going to try that color again today, and instead of the usual blonde, I'm going to try a sandy/beige blonde.  Darker for fall!  :)  Same cut as last time:

Except the bangs were different....   Man oh man, I loved this haircut!  I think it fit my face pretty well.

I'm jumping around topics, I know, but I'm just trying to disctract myself from my frustrated emotions (PS: It's working!!).

Next weekend I'm going on an adventure to Farmington, NM!  I've never been there before, so I'm pretty much stoked.  We are going with Lance's parents and maybe his sister, Laura's family.  I LOVE going new places!  I'm excited to hear stories from his families of vacations they've taken here back in the day.  I'm a sucker for that stuff, fo sho!

Lance has been trying very hard to get a truck lately.  I don't mind him getting one, as long as we can get the payments somewhere manageable.  I hate that we just paid off a car (that is now a piecer), and he wants to get stuck in another payment.  But I understand.  I mean, the Hyundai's transmission is giving us fits, and the mechanics we've talked to said fixing the transmission will only work for a short time, until the "fixed" transmission dies too.  What I want to do is get just a nice, cheap, used car for $12k or less.  But no, he has his heart set on a Nissan Titan truck, $17K, which is a good price!  Just too expensive for us right now.

So we're trying to sell our POS Hyundai, and use the money on a down payment, so we can get the Nissan payments around $250 a month.  It's a frustrating time, for sure.  At the same time as not wanting to have a car payment, if he gets his dream car I want a new/different car too!!  I have my sights on a Mazda RX8. 

They're running at a good prices right now.  But yeah, that's selfish of me.  The Dodge we bought last year is nowhere near being paid off.... and with the depreciation that has happened, it's worth LESS than what we owe.  Cars suck.... they suck bad.

Anyway, I feel better now.  Nothing quite like a time-out to calm you down!

Priorities

I just want to give a quick shout out to Carrie, one of my co-workers.

She's the best person someone could ever work with! She's a great listener, and that is something I would love to learn. When you talk to her, you feel like you could go on forever and she wouldn't get bored. Recently (ok so maybe a month ago?), we took a couple of lunches together. She is so easy to talk to, and you can tell that she really cares about others. She is such a fun-loving person. She likes to have cheese parties (an other types of "parties") at work. She's introduced me to many funky cheeses, some of them better than others.

In a couple of weeks Carrie and I are going to LA for a conference. I'm excited to spend some time with her and get to know her better.

I hope I can make others feel as good about themselves as she makes me feel about myself.

On a differente topic: I really wanted to go to the Oquirrh Mountain temple dedication today. Unfortuantely, we procrastinated getting the recommend. We really need to stop procrastinating things. I need to get my priorities in order.

Politics

I work for a company that processes data. Most of the data we process is political, but we do get some marketing.

I don't like to take my work home with me... not that I dislike my job, in fact, I LOVE my job. But, I prefer not to hear about politics outside of work. I know, the horror, right? Politics surround us every day. There is no avoiding it... but I try.

So I was going to write about this topic that I've seen some stuff about recently... but I'm not sure if I'll be breaking my companies privacy policy. So, in general terms... I think that everyone, including our lovely government, needs to start owning up to our own problems.

When I spend my paycheck too fast, I can't go ask my boss for more money.
If I got in an argument with my husband, I don't call my mom to come fix the problem.
If I'm looking to purchase an item, but I don't like the price, I go somewhere else, or I don't buy it. I don't call the owner of the store and ask them to drop the price.

The end.

Letter From a Missionary - 1

Hi jenjo,
Thanks for pretending to cry when I left. I'm having a great time already. The MTC is pretty cool. I can tell you the church is definately true. The power in this little area in provo is incredible. I"m excited to teach real investigators. We practice teaching fake ones here. But it's still scary. And that was in english. I have to learn spanish. pray for me. I love you
Love, Elder Keele





Thanks for making my day Jared... but at the same time making me cry. Am I ever going to feel at peace with him being gone?

New Goal!

Humility.

I talk about myself too much, and brag about myself too much. Probably because I'm surrounded by braggers and people who talk like they're better than everyone else. But yeah, humility is the goal. I can't change people around me, so I am changing myself.

I was talking to Lolly about people who are truly humble and people who are faking humility, and I used the example of an old co-worker, who was talking about how her family pays for her schooling and her apartment and pretty much everything, so she just had to work for any extras she wanted, like shopping and stuff. So I said, "Wow! Your family must have a lot of money." And she responded, "We're just so blessed." She went on about how blessed she is, but in a way that didn't really feel humble to me. It was more of "Yes, my family is loaded and I get anything and everything I want."

So, after talking about this with Lolly, we watched Bride Wars. There's a part in the movie where this lady says "I know, hot huh? I am so blessed to have this body!" It was funny, because I had just ad a conversation with Lolly about people like that, but it also made me feel valid in my opinion that people who have the need to share how "blessed" they are, are really not humble. Now, I'd hate to read blogs full of "Whoa is me". I want to feel happy for you, I want to feel happy for your accomplishments and "blessings". I guess it's just all in the "tone" you use. I can tell if you're being humble, or if you're rubbing stuff in. I guess I'm gifted that way.

I am so blessed to be able to tell the humbile from the haughty. *wink wink*

Anyway, humility, my new goal.

In other news... I'm still really depressed about Jared. I get teary-eyed looking at pictures of him. I've started a few letters to him, but I have no idea what to say besides "I miss you.". I need him.... I really do. I'm glad I can still hang out with Lolly. See, Lolly and I were so caught up in our high school romances, that we didn't take the time to make other real friendships, and we are both suffering for it now. I'm glad we have each other.

My Little Brother

My little brother, Jared, left on his mission yesterday.

It was a lot harder to let him go than it was my older brother. Jared and I have always been pretty close. He's always been a good brother. And as far as I can remember, we've never, ever been in any fights.

The week before he left was a real rollercoaster of emotions for me.

I was happy that he chose to go. I know that he made the decision on his own, not to please anyone but his Heavenly Father and himself. A year ago, he said he wasn't going, but I guess he had an epiphany and realized that there are people out there who need him. Not just any missionary, but him. I believe that missionaries are not sent places at random, they are sent where they are needed, and the Lord needs him there in Guatemala.

I'm sad that my closest sibling is gone for two years. I'm worried that he will be like Eric and write me only once. One letter in two years. I don't think either of my brothers realize how much they mean to me, and not having them around is really hard for me, so letters mean a lot. I was so happy when I got that letter from Eric, and it was really sad that I didn't get any more.

I'm scared that Lolly will become distant. I care for her more than I think she realizes. I really and truly hope they end up together. If they don't, I know what will happen is meant to be, but it really won't be easy.

I'm worred that he won't be the same Jared when he comes back.

The last thing he said before walking out the door was "Jenn, have a baby." I don't know about that one....

Here he is giving me "The Look" that I won't see for two years... maybe longer if he changes drastically.

This was taken after we walked four miles to get a coke in Vegas. We turned around and walked four miles back shortly afterward. The things he'd do for a coke...

Here we are at Eric's homecoming party. I love his carefree spirit, and ability to always make me smile.

I love you Jared, and I know you are where you're supposed to be... I just wish I could be with you.

Sleepy Saturday

Due to the lack of interesting things to write about, I have made yet another outfit. This one is more business casual.

Earrings:
Blue knot top:

Purple purse:

Tweed pants:

Bronze heels:

What would life be like without color?