I Don't Have OCD!

I've always thought I had a bit of OCD in me.

After learning more about my Type 4 energy and movement, I've realized that it's just my nature!

For example.... I like to rotate my clothes by season.  If it's warm out, I want to get all of my winter clothes out and put away where I don't have to see them.  If it's cold out, I'll keep out only the "warm" clothes that can be layered easily with other clothing.  Also, my clothes are organized by color, in rainbow order (after Black and white), in my closet.

OCD?  Actually, no.  It's structure. I like clean lines, I like negative space. I don't want my closet cluttered with clothes I won't wear for months.  My maternity clothes were boxed up the moment they were too big.  I still haven't gotten my "skinny" clothes out of storage.  I don't want it to be difficult to find something to wear.  If I want to wear "my favorite red shirt" I know it will be between my whites and oranges.  Clothing stores that don't organize this way, make me crazy.

Birthday Girl!

Lily's birthday was a couple of weeks ago, but here are some pictures of my angel!

She is very animated, and loves to use her hands while "telling stories." She says the words: mama, dadda, hi, hey, and "pyda," which means "spider." She loves the itsy bitsy spider.

She love, love, loves her daddy. She gets so excited when he comes home for lunch and when he comes home from work in the evenings.

She likes to play in her toy box.

She's a super fast crawler!  She can walk along the furniture, and stand up without support for a while, but she's a little nervous to walk on her own.

She is and always has been a good sleeper.  She sleeps about 13 hours at night, and takes two, two hour naps during the day.  This is good for this momma who works at night!  I can still get about 7-8 hours of sleep, and if I neglect cleaning and laundry, I can take naps too!

She loves taking baths!

Her invitations to her birthday party, with her picture.

She liked opening presents, but just like most young children, she wanted to play with what she opened, rather than open a new present.  If I could rule the world, I'd outlaw opening presents at parties. ☺

Sierra, Elise and I dipped some Oreos in white chocolate, and drizzled with milk chocolate. They're supposed to go with the zebra theme.

Her smash cake, which I loved!!!!!! So cute!

And Lily loved it too!

Her birthday outfit!  The onesie is now stained. I waited too long to wash it.

These decorations said "let's get wild!" on them, and I didn't like that. So Emilee helped me cover it up with Minnie Mouse instead.

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Just Stopping By

I have lots I want to blog about, such as Jared's wedding, Aziz's baptism, and Lily's birthday, but... I'm just stopping by real quick to share this beautiful version of Hallelujah.

This song makes me think of my two little seesters who perform this song so beautifully.  Maybe they can learn this version?

Dressing Your Truth

My sister in law, Katie, let me borrow a book: Dressing Your Truth - Discover Your Personal Beauty Profile.

Wow. Just, wow. I have never, ever, in my life felt so completely understood.

I've always been told I was too negative, critical, serious, and blunt. My mom always complained that I am never excited about the gifts I get. I've also always been self conscious of all this, as it has always been negative feedback.

This book has opened my eyes to a new light. I'm not negative and critical. Other people see me that way because I have a talent for perfecting things. I can see what needs to be done to make something better, or more efficient.

I am a serious person. That does not mean I cannot laugh and have fun. It does mean that I cannot fake emotion well, which I have tried to do for years. I can't pretend to like someone or something. I cannot pretend to be excited and happy if I am not.  I hate opening gifts in front of others because if I don't like it, I'm terrible at pretending I do! In the past, trying to pretend, trying to be happy when I'm not, has probably made me seem fake, because, well, it was.

I will tell you what I honestly think, if you let me. I don't enjoy going around and hurting people's feelings, but gosh, some people are stupid and I just don't understand why they aren't smarter! I do see myself as smarter and better than other people. Not everyone, but yes, a lot of people. I am overly critical to others.

I can be told a rule, or law, or the "right way" to do something just one time and I will remember it forever. But, only if it was told to me by someone who I see has authority, or someone who I feel has earned my respect, or someone I look up to. This way of thinking can be arrogant, I know. But deep down, if I don't respect you, I don't really care what you have to say. Let me rephrase that... if I don't respect you, I will take your advice or whatever information you are giving me with a grain of salt, and make sure I thoroughly research it before accepting it as truth.  Of course I still have conversations with anyone, and I do truly care about you as a person whether or not I see you as superior.

In fashion, I enjoy wearing unique items. I am not quick to follow fashion trends, and I can't stand someone wearing the same thing as I am. If you have personally experienced a time where we were wearing matching items, I apologize, as I was probably very rude, cold or blunt.

Also in fashion, and home decor, I value quality over quantity. If you came to my house you would see several bare walls. This is because of several reasons. One because I won't hang up decor unless it will be perfect. Second because I don't own decor unless it is high quality and striking, which tends to be expensive. And speaking of money, I will save for something I love, rather than splurge on something that is good enough.

This is me. I have had an extreme breakthrough, and I'm not going to try to fake things anymore. I need to be myself. I recognize some of my flaws, and I know I have more flaws that I have not yet recognized.

I am arrogant. I am a know it all. I am critical. I am a perfectionist. I will no longer see these as flaws, because they aren't flaws as long as I can control and balance them properly. But, other people need to see and understand me for who I am. If I have offended you, let me know! I appreciate and value honest feedback and thrive on working through my differences with others.

I strongly recommend this book to all women.  What do you dislike about yourself? What are you self conscious of?  Can you see it in a new light?  Can you be yourself?  Can you embrace your truth?