DataWise Inside Jokes

So most of you won't understand this... OK ALL of you won't understand this. But these are some of the inside jokes at my work. I ♥ them so much!

You Know You Work at Datawise When...

–The note "MT SW TP to RB" makes perfect sense.
–The only way you know how to do anything is because you've already found every possible way to screw it up.
–Your spouse’s eyes glaze over after 30 seconds of talking about what you did today.
–You have no sympathy for people who complain about their "busy" time of year.
–You live for CHEESE PARTIES!!
–"I want a pony" is not a childhood dream.
–You have family reunions on the 4s (4 AM / 4 PM).
–1 wurd: LOLCAT.
–You have to remind people you have a J.O.B. every day.
–The "Wiseys" are the highest form of honor
–You’re drinking water out of a paper bowl.
–You find nothing odd about people laughing about a joke when no one has said a word.
–You can have an entire conversation with someone in complete silence.
–The ding of an email can bring you almost to tears.
–You clutch recently printed trend for warmth.
–You can say "DataWise" correctly.
–VD has nothing to do with a disease.
–You spell check for 'defecate.'
–You spell Bill with 3 Ls.
–You work in descending rainbow order.
–Your company mascot is a Pony.
–You've ever watched a commercial and said 'I did coding for that!'
–You get drunk-dialed with table edits.
–You hold the Cuban constant.
–El Pollo Diablo Bano Loco just means "Matt"
–Your work is approved by El Diablo
–A screen-saver ruins your new computer.
–Richard has a macro for that.
–If you’ve ever been giddy over a macro.
–You have strong opinions about macros.
–You enjoy batch files.
–You give Chad Michael Murray as a gift.
–You know what time zone Kentucky is in.
–Getting this weighted is more important than your health.
–You have every possible pen color.
–You don’t know exactly what color the walls are.
–You make sure these numbers match those numbers.
–Your training book is as thick as a dictionary.
–You love your Intelligel seat cushion.
–You have high blood pressure.
–You’ve ever answered a moral question with "It’s what the client wants!"
–You have 900 plastic knives, but no forks.
–You can't remember the last fifteen minutes on the highway.
–You demean your client in fantasy football.
–An entire page on the schedule is yours.
–You really need that stress ball.
–You are asked if you love your calculator.
–Thousands of responses don't scare you.
–If you can’t see what you did wrong, and someone instantly points it out to you.
–If Laura’s ever told you that she’s never seen that before.
–If you have an advent calendar to count down to Election Day.
–You're still having nightmares about MO HD's.
–Tomorrow comes before your shift ends.
–If "yesterday" is a valid deadline.
–You take a quiz to find out which Super Villain you are.
–You have a ninja on your desk.
–Your co-workers have "hooker lights."
–Your co-workers wear hooker boots.
–It’s perfectly normal to wear slippers at work.
–You hear a fire truck racing down the street everyday.
–There is a contest to see who can close Donni’s office door.
–You’re excited to go to Smith’s on your dinner break.
–"Dinner break" is a RockStar.
–Caffeine is your diet staple.
–You’re so sick of eating out at the normal places that you start making up funny names for them.