It's Hard

For me, when missionaries are about to come home, I have these ideas that they'll want to hang out and talk for hours and catch up on everything from the last two years and tell tons of missionary stories.

This has not been true in 2/2 cases.  They are quiet, don't have a lot to say or just don't know what to say.  They're not easy to talk to.  The person who comes home is not the same person who left.  It's hard. 

I never saw Eric when he came home.  The night he came home he told us a few missionary stories.  That was the last night he spent at home.  He moved out and then I don't remember seeing him again until he introduced Katie to us.  Thank goodness for Katie.  She helped Eric adjust and move on in life.  She's an amazing person and we are lucky to have her in our family.

Jared has been home for two days, but I still miss my little brother.  I miss the little boy who I used to jump on the trampoline with.  I miss the person who used to make up dances in living room with me and perform them for our parents.  I miss the person who was never embarrassed to hug me in the hallways at school. I miss the person who would call me, just because he was near my house and wanted to stop by.  I miss the silly voices he used to make.  I miss his humor.

Yes, my brother came home.  But he's not the same.  And it's hard.  I'm sure it's hard for him too.  He had a lot of people to miss.  I just had one.

So many things are changing right now that it's overwhelming.  The only way I know how to cope is to try to put into words how I'm feeling, and to cry while doing it.