Roller Coaster

I went back and read a lot of older posts from the past year...  I'm such a roller coaster.

Next time I have a baby, could someone come and take my scale away?  I was obsessed with my weight!  I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm not so depressed about it anymore.  I wish I had focused more on how freakin' adorable Lily was those first few months.  She is so much fun now!  Now that I think about it... she wasn't always fun.  It' was hard to enjoy her cuteness when she cried all the time.  But now she laughs and smiles all the time!  She is such a sweet heart.

She used to take a bit of time to pull herself on to her feet.  Now she crawls over, and pulls herself up like it's nothing.

I don't want her to grow up.  I just want her to be my little baby, who loves me, forever.

Lily lost a pound between her 6 month and 9 month appointments.  Dr. Arnold was very concerned.  I was shocked, since she eats a ton!  He said it was due to my milk production decreasing, and what little milk I was making was more like skim instead of the heavy cream it was when she was younger.  The solution?  Formula.  So, I failed my formula-free goal, but I'm proud of the effort I put into breastfeeding for nine months.  Honestly,  I won't work as hard at it with future babies.  Formula sure is nice!  Except that it smells funny, and I never know how big of a bottle to make... seems like it's always too much milk, or not enough milk.  Whatevs.  Two more months and she'll be able to have cow's milk... but I'm not sure I want to give her cow's milk.

I heard that humans are the only mammals that continue to drink milk after their infancy.  Personally, I don't appreciate the effect that cow's milk has on my body, so I tend to avoid drinking it.  I'm not sure what the alternatives are for babies/toddlers are though.  Anyone know?  I love coconut, almond, rice and soy milk!  But alas, Lance does not.  So, half gallon of 1%, half gallon of Silk?  I dunno.

I've been reading the Doctrine and Covenants lately.  The First Presidency message this month is about how the D&C will help us learn how to better receive spiritual inspiration. I liked the sound of that.

Lance and I were both feeling certain impressions, and we were surprised that the other was feeling the same way when we told each other.  Vague, I know.  But, these impressions were/are asking us to do some fairly scary and difficult things.  So when I read the First Presidency message about receiving and understanding answers to prayers, I had to try it out more faithfully than I have in the past.  I've been reading multiple sections in the D&C every night, and these impressions are growing stronger and stronger, and they are making more and more sense.  I honestly have felt like some scriptures are speaking to me directly, and echoing the impressions I've had.  Occasionally, I'll forget my fears and feel nothing but excitement!  However, I'm still scared. And I'm still praying to know if it's right and if it's true, and if we must do what we are feeling.  So far, all signs point to yes.

I'm afraid to share the specifics, just now.  But in time I'm sure I'll spill the beans.