Chit Chat

I was reading over some old blog posts, and I liked how I just talked about daily life and what we did.  I don't have time to do that regularly anymore, but it would be nice to be able to look back on memories.


I get in my head too much.  Half of me worries about what people think of me and our life, and the other half of me doesn't really care.  It's a weird position to be in.  I feel like I'm constantly at war with myself.




I want to start a YouTube vlogging channel.  I want to just record our daily life and upload videos to YouTube every 2 or 3 days.  I watch a family on YouTube that uploads every day.  They're the Orgils and their channel is called April's Life.  I found them through their other channel, Hair 101.

Anyway, I have grown to be so attached to April and her family! They live in Utah somewhere, I think Saratoga or Eagle Mountain.  They haven't said, but I recognize a lot of places that they go.  I have never met them in real life.  I feel like I know them so well, and that we could be best friends!  I'm pretty sure I will meet them some day.  They go to vlogging fairs, and they were in Orlando a few months ago.  I wanted to meet up with them, but I was too afraid to.  I worry about it being awkward.  I think next year I won't worry as much.  My social anxiety has gotten a lot better over these past few months. I think, due to me attending relief society, and teaching Singing Time in Primary each week.


Seriously, standing up alone, singing, in front of a room full of children and adults is pretty scary!  I get nervous every Sunday.


Anyway, a vlogging channel from the Petersons. Would you watch it?  Let me know!  I think it would be great since we are so far from family.  They could keep up with us, and not forget who we are.  I don't mean forget about us, I just I think when you're far away from people, you forget who they really are and only remember the bad things, and negative interactions.  Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just in my head again. :-)


We bought a GoPro, which would work to film random stuff.  I think it would also motivate me to keep my house cleaner, so that the world wouldn't see how I really live. :-D


We would also film stuff at Disney World, and we could tell people our tips for how we stay comfortable in the heat or humidity, or how we plan a day with a toddler, or how we save money!  We're pretty frugal people.  Of course it's easier to save money when we live here, but we did vacation here three times before moving here, so we're not completely clueless to how it is.


We actually did film one day at Disney.  We went to Typhoon Lagoon, which is one of the water parks. We just filmed random stuff throughout the day.  I thought they were cute videos.  We need to learn how to combine the clips together, and cut certain parts out (you know, like if I say something inappropriate (which I did) ...).





We have some people planning to visit us!  I am so, so excited!


My sister Emilee decided to come spend the summer with us.  I couldn't be more excited!  Emilee is so fun, and it will be so nice to have someone to talk to besides a toddler who screams and cries at me constantly. For no apparent reason.

I tried adding the video, but it wouldn't work.  The video goes like this.
Mom: Turns on camera. "Hi!"
Lily: Screams and cries.
Mom: "What did  I do?"

Yay Emilee! I can't wait!


Not only Emilee, but my friend Betty is also coming to visit us in September!  She'll be staying with us for a few days, and we have already made dinner reservations at a couple Disney restaurants.  In fact, we have an entire itinerary for where we will be eating the entire time!


Betty and I both love, love, love, good food.  I cannot wait to share all my favorite restaurants with her.





We are slowly adjusting to Lance's new schedule.  He works 11:45pm-8:15am.  His days off are Tuesday and Wednesday, so that means that Wednesday and Thursday are the days we get to spend together.  I adjusted my work schedule so that I can have Wednesday off as well.  So now I work Saturday - Tuesday, and Thursday.  Wed and Fri are off. (My company is basically closed Friday nights, otherwise I would have offered to work Friday and have Tuesday off.)


Since Lance is the ward mission leader we see the missionaries over here a lot.  They were just over here yesterday, so yes, my house is clean.  They will be over here again next Thursday, so my house will be clean that day as well.  Hehehe.



So, today being Wednesday, I slept in until noon (finally 8 hours of sleep!), and then I got up and we went to Earl of Sandwich for lunch.  Then Lily insisted that we went to "the smell store" which is really called Basin.  I LOVE Basin, so I love that Lily loves Basin.  Lily walks around and has to smell each bath bomb and each soap, and I get to just casually browse whatever I feel like.

They have some new teeny tiny bath bombs, so we picked up a tube that fits 6 in there, and bought them for Lily's baths.  They smell so good!  Lily likes to be like mommy and have bath bombs, so I'm glad these ones are just over a dollar a piece.  Same quality! Just smaller.

I've been wanting a new Disney T-shirt, so we went to World of Disney and I found a really cute one.  Totally overpriced, but Lance's discount made it a little better.  It's bright pink with navy trim and a sparkly white Minnie Mouse on it.

After World of Disney we went to the Lego store. The Lego store has little stations where the kids can just free play with Legos.  Lily loves it!  I usually just chill with her while Lance browses around.  Lance bought a new Lego set, a ferris wheel thing (it is his Father's Day gift).

Then we walked back to our car and came home. Lily and Daddy had naps while I checked Facebook and YouTube. (I deleted Facebook off my phone and I'm so happy I did!  I wasted so much time, checking Facebook multiple times a day.)

When Daddy and Lily woke up we went to Steak N Shake.  Yes, we ate out twice today.  This is our new "Friday" and I don't cook on Fridays!  (I will be cooking on the real Fridays now.) Steak N Shake always makes us all sick, so we should probably stop going there.

Then we gave Lily a bath with her new bath bombs. We used the blue one, at her request, which is called Ocean.  Then we had scriptures and prayer and put Lily to bed.  And now I think Lance is asleep on the couch, and I'm blogging.

I would consider it a good day.

Tomorrow we will be heading to Sam's Club to stock up on frozen lunches, yogurt, Coke, and other snack foods.  For dinner I'm planning to make either Hawaiian Tacos, Mexican Soup, or some kind of meatball dish.  We had pretend Cafe Rio for dinner with the missionaries, and I like to make a GIANT batch of the meat and use the leftovers in tacos, and soup.  Super easy!


Well, enough chatting.  Here are some pictures:

She fell asleep in the car. 5/27

Lily and her "castle." 5/26

Lily and Daddy on the Carousel. 5/7

Mommy and Lily playing "hopotch" outside. (She calls sidewalk chalk hop scotch, because that was the first thing I drew with her.) 4/27

Addie giving Lily a ride on her bike. 4/25

New Routine

Happy Sunday, everyone!


It's been a rough week.  Lance's new hours are brutal. I'm still sick. Lily has major attitude and listening problems.

So that's life in a nutshell.


If you want more specifics, though...




Lance is currently doing training. His hours are 11:45 pm - 8:15 am.  He leaves the house at 10:30 pm, and he gets home at about 9 am.  He's having a hard time adjusting to this new schedule, and I'm trying my best to be supportive and helpful.  We bought a new fan for our room that is louder so it blocks out more of mine and Lily's noise. I also try to leave the house for a couple hours so it's completely silent.  He says he hasn't really heard us and it hasn't been a problem, so that's good.


Lily has decided to no longer sleep in or play quietly in her room in the mornings. She comes out and creates havoc starting at 8 am.


Lance comes home at 9 am, and he sleeps until about 3 pm. Although, I told him I'd let him sleep until 4 or 5 if he needs to.

I have no idea how he survives on so little sleep.  I'm seriously dying with what I get.



Um, so yeah, I'm still sick.  I've finished my antibiotics, but I still have a lot of crud in my lungs, coating my throat, and my nose is pretty runny. My ears are still clogged, and my voice is still not normal.  So basically the only difference from before is that my throat no longer hurts and it isn't swollen. But then again, I think the swelling is coming back.

This means I will have been sick for three weeks, tomorrow.




Lily is a classic three year old (from what I've heard), and it's not going very well.  I used to yell a lot, but I've been working on it.  She yells at me a lot.  She also tells me "In a minute!" when I ask her to come to me.  Pretty sure she got it from me (ugh, when I'm working, what do you expect?!).  Of course logic and reason don't exist in her world, so basically I just get to deal with it.

She doesn't want to eat anything but chips, fruit snacks, and juice. I don't give her chips, and she gets fruit snacks once a day. With how much food she leaves on her plate at each mealtime, I have no idea if she's getting the calories and nutrients she needs.

Potty training is going backwards. She prefers to poop after we've put her to bed for the night.


I do love her, of course.  She is still cute.


She loves to sing and dance.  I'm going to start looking for a preschool and a dance class to put her in.

I just learned last week that Kindergarten here in Florida is FULL DAY, and they highly recommend doing Pre-K when your child is 4.  I'm not sure Lily is even ready for the structure of Pre-K, so I'd really like to get her into a preschool class that will help her out there.  Preschool for a year, Pre-K for a year, and then maybe she'll be ready for Kindergarten.

I fear putting her in any sort of class. With how she treats me and how she doesn't listen to me, who knows how she'll treat her teacher.

Full day Kindergarten though?  Really? Can you imagine a child being home with Mom all day, and then all of a sudden going to school for 6 hours?  That's insane!

I'm not worried about Lily's skills or knowledge, I'm worried about her interactions with other kids, how well she'll listen to a teacher, and if she'll follow directions.






So that's it.  We're adjusting to our new routine with Lance's new job, but it has not been easy. I feel a mental breakdown approaching from my lack of sleep and this sickness that won't go away.

Goal Update - April

Monthly Enrichment night
I went and it was fun! We had food and made little trinkets, and I don't think I embarrassed myself, for once.


Cook dinner 3 times a week
I didn't do so well at this, this month.  I was pretty sick for the last couple weeks of April, and I basically stop doing everything (except for work) when I'm sick.  Earlier in April I was doing pretty well.


52 Week Money Saving Challenge
I'm not sure where we are with this. It's starting to get pretty difficult, and I think we were behind for a minute there.


Monthly date night
We haven't had a date since February. We really should work on this.  One date in four months. This is not good.


Weekly crafts with Lily
I'm also failing at this. With the rearrangement of mine and Lance's schedule, I might start to get better at this.  Lily and I need to be quiet during the morning and afternoons, and I think doing crafts outside on our patio might be a good option.


Clean something (in my house) every day
I'm doing ok. I'm doing better than I have in the past, but not as well as I'd like.  Also, our vaccuum isn't working very well.  It sucks stuff up, but not as well as it used to.


Remember friends' and family members' birthdays
I sent my dad a card, and I hand delivered my sister, Jessica, a card.




For May (which is now half over), I will try harder to do at least one craft with Lily, and go on a date with my handsome husband.

Infertility

I had an annual checkup a few days ago. It had been four years since my previous one, so it was about time.

I had a little difficulty finding a new doctor. I prefer my doctors to be female. I don't understand why a man would be interested in caring for womanly body parts. It just seems creepy. Also, I like my doctor to actually know what it's like to be a woman, rather than know what they've been taught or told.

I'm really happy with the doctor I ended up choosing. She made me feel very welcome and comfortable, and really made an effort to get to know me before she saw me naked. ☺️

My visit went well. We discussed my health history, and I told her I'd been completely off birth control for 2.5 years, and have been trying for a baby. She said I qualify for infertility testing if I want to take that route. She explained what it would entail. She also recommended getting an ovulation testing kit so I can more accurately know when I'm ovulating. I decided it would be best to try using ovulation kits for three months, and if we still can't conceive, we will make an appointment to begin the fertility stuff.

Using an ovulation testing kit never occurred to me before. I got pregnant so fast with Lily that this whole situation is surreal.

Before Lily, I used an IUD. I got it taken out mid-May in 2011. I had one period in June, and a positive pregnancy test in July. It was too easy.

Why is it so different this time?

After Lily was born, I started the mini pill when she was 6 weeks old. I stopped taking the mini pill at the end of November 2012. I was still nursing Lily, so my periods didn't resume until April or May of 2013. So it's been 2 years. 

I hate that this is even on my mind, but my biggest concern with getting pregnant now is that I will have a baby for the 2016 cycle at my job. Lily was 5 months old during the 2012 cycle and I lost my mind, as well as unintentionally starved her. The cycle is about 3 months long, so Lily was 5-8 months old during it. Between her 6 month appointment and her 9 month appointment she had lost weight and the doctor was very concerned about it. Lily was exclusively breast fed for 6 months, and I started solids along with breast feeding after she was 6 months, so the only explanation for the weight loss is neglect. It breaks my heart. I can't do that again. 

I know my employers are understanding people. They have been very gracious to me and were very helpful for the 2014 cycle (cycles happen every other year). I know they will be the same for 2016, but I still worry.

For 2014, Lance took a leave from his job to care for Lily so I could sleep after working my 12 hour shifts. I don't know if that will be an option in 2016.

We have no family near who can help. I'm not sure if friends would be willing or able, and it's too soon to ask a question like that. "Hey, do you have any plans from August to October of 2016? Would you be my nanny? What if I have two kids? What would you charge?"

...

It's too soon to worry about, I know. But the reality is, this is exactly what I didn't want to happen. I really wanted to have a baby by now so I wouldn't have to stress about what will happen with work.

Also, Lily will be at least 4 years old by the time we get baby #2 and, it shouldn't, but that really bothers me. I wanted twins to begin with! Twins and then one more. That was my wish. Lily wasn't a twin, so I thought I could have baby #2 be really close to her in age. That didn't happen either.

I kind of feel like my family goals and dreams are in shambles. I wanted my children to be close in age so they would be best friends, grow together, and care for each other. Now they won't even go to the same school at the same time. 

I think that Heavenly Father is trying to teach me that I'm not in control. I don't get to decide any of this. Family planning is a lie: It's all in His hands, and He knows best. 

That doesn't make it any less painful or depressing, or help me to not feel like I'm broken. 

Girl Trip!

When I turned 21 I went to Vegas with my best friend.  This year for our birthdays, we wanted to go again!  Since I live really far away now, it was really difficult to figure it out.  Sierra has a really busy schedule, and flights to Vegas from Orlando are expensive.

But! I got lucky.  Frontier just started flying direct to Vegas from Orlando, so they were having a deal where you could get one way flights for $50.  Yes, please!

I couldn't justify being 5.5 hours away from the rest of my family without seeing them, so instead of paying $100 for two one-way flights to and from Vegas, I decided to drive up to Utah with the girls and fly home from Salt Lake.

This time we decided to invite more people along, so we went with Sheri, Sierra's aunt who is more like a super awesome sister, and my two sisters Elise and Jessica.  I am SO glad they all came. It made it so much fun!



My flight got into Vegas at 10:30pm, so the first night I did nothing but sleep.

Ok, well, the fact that I was practically dying was also a contributing factor.  I went to the doctor earlier on Thursday and found out I had strep throat, bronchitis, and a sinus infection. Yay!  My medicines made me feel icky and dizzy and light headed, so the entire trip was basically a drugged haze.

The first night we stayed at The Excalibur, and we had a pretty cool view!

Friday morning, we got up pretty early to head over to Tix4Tonight to get some show tickets!  We all agreed on V The Ultimate Variety show, and we also booked dinner reservations to Bonnano's, an Italian restaurant at the same hotel as our show.

At this point we walked back and forth a lot because we did not plan our day very well.  We walked through the MGM hotel about 6 times, I think.  And I'm telling you, that hotel was nuts because of the big fight that was happening the following day.  I do believe there were celebrities because people would randomly cheer loudly and everyone had their phones out, holding them up taking pictures.  Dude! I just want to get where I'm going!

We went over to the new Hershey's store in the New York New York hotel.  It's a neat little store, full of cool stuff!

These are my favorite! I love the pieces/minis/bites snacks.  They have EVERYTHING!

EV.ER.Y.THING.

I'm in a Reese's!

Jolly Rancher scented candles + drugs.

We ate lunch at Rainforest Cafe, which I'm not really a fan of. I think it's way overpriced, and not the best quality.  We ate there because it was the most convenient.  Jessica and I split some chicken, potatoes, and veggies.  It was good, just not great.

The reason we walked through the MGM so much was because we were invited to participate in a screening of a new TV series they are testing.  We went to their kiosk to sign up, and they told us to come back an hour later.  So that short hour was all the time we had to walk through MGM and high tail it over to the Coke and M&M stores.

We went back and were put in a little room. Each of us had a little dial and a computer, and there was a large TV screen at the front of the room.  We were instructed to watch the 42 minute program, and use the dial to show how interested or not interested we were.  We were to turn the dial towards the right, up to 100, when we were interested, and to the left, down to zero, when we were bored.

My dial stayed in the 80-100 range because that show was bomb!  I guess it's a spin off of the movie Limitless. I've never seen Limitless, but the show was very interesting, and I would totally watch it.


Using the computer we had to answer a few questions about the show, and then we were each given an envelope filled with coupons, along with $20 cash! Saweet!  We went over to a gift shop to spend our coupon there, then over to Starbucks to spend our coupon there. We didn't use any of the other coupons.

Jessica didn't get cash because you had to be 18. Sheri is not in the picture because she was still answering the survey questions. :)

After this we walked back to the car, which was parked at Excalibur still, and we went over to our new hotel.  We switched hotels because the price at Excalibur went up from $80 to $300, because of that stinking boxing match!

We checked into The Cannery and relaxed for a little while, and I did makeup on Jessica and Elise, then we went over to the Planet Hollywood, which is where our dinner and our show was.

We ate at Bennuno's, and it was delicious.  We were served by a guy who looked and sounded like Jerry Seinfeld.  The food was soooooo good!  Jessica and I split some pasta and some calamari. They served unlimited garlic knots with oil and vinegar.

The show was good!  It was entertaining and funny, and we accidentally got VIP seats, so that was cool.  By "accidentally" I mean, we walked in the the hostess put us in the VIP section in the front because we didn't fit in the general admission seats, which was what we had actually purchased.

Seriously, do not scoff at Tix4Tonight!  We paid $40 a piece, and got the tickets for "V" as well as the dinner reservation which included 50% off of our entrees.  So, yes. It's a good deal. And Lance and I have found some really great restaurants this way.



After the show, we just walked around on the strip.

I shouted "surprise selfie!" and took a picture. And then I laughed my head off because I am hilarious. Or on drugs.  Yeah, that.

Elise and the fountains.

And that was day 1!  It was very busy and eventful, and not recommended for strep/bronchitis/sinus infection recovery, but YOLO.


Day 2 was more chill.

We started the day by heading to the hot tub.  That was niiiiiice.

Then we checked out of our hotel, and went to Hash House a Go Go.  The wait was 35 minutes and there was an Ulta right next door, so, obviously we had to go to Ulta while we waited.  I bought a purple lipstick.

The lipstick I am wearing is not the purple lipstick I bought, although, now I think I should have.

Then we went to a comic book store because it was free comic book day.  I went to the bathroom then waited in the car. That line was long!

After this we headed over to Ethel M's chocolate factory and bought overpriced chocolates.

And then we got on the road to come up to Utah.

Drugs, man. That's my excuse. I don't think Elise has one.

10 minutes before this, I offered Elise some chocolate and she said she had too much sugar.  Next thing you know she buys an ice cream cone and a large soda.  Then i hear her say, "I am regretting this decision." And then I laughed my head off because she is hilarious.

That was a fun car ride.  We played a game where we would make faces at the cars as we passed by. It was really funny.

We got to Elise's house at about 9pm, and I had plans to go to dinner with Lance's sisters and my friends Betty and Mike.

We were there chatting for about three hours!  I enjoyed it very much.


The next day, Sunday, I went to lunch at Cafe Rio, because I can't go to Utah without eating Cafe Rio.  Unfortunately, it did not taste good.  The dressing tasted like straight mayo.  It might have been my sickness, but, everywhere else I ate was just fine.

After Cafe Rio, I drove down to Orem to visit my grandparents.  My grandma is looking so much better, although too skinny!  It was great to see them.  I'm glad they live closer so it's easier to pop over for a minute.

Jessica took this picture and I stole it because it is a perfect Utah day.  It made me not want to leave. 

I made a quick stop at the Pleasant Grove cemetery to visit Lance's parents.  And I cried. A lot. Carol's birthday was the day before.  I miss her and Jerry so much. I wish I could have seen them and talked with them.  But instead I just told them how much I missed them and wished they were here, and how I wished they could see Lily.



Then I went back to Elise's house and we ate hot dogs, watermelon, and burned pasta salad.  Elise and Aziz fell asleep on the couch and it was really cute.

A little later we broke out Elise's delicious cheesecake she had made earlier.

Elise is the best cook.



That's where my pictures end.  I am really disappointed in myself. I wanted a picture with my three sisters, but it didn't happen.  Whoops!

But yes, I got to see Emilee!  Yay!  She came down from Idaho.


I went to bed early, and got up early on Monday. My friend Betty came and picked me up and we went to Kneaders, and then she dropped me off at the airport.

The end!