Another great job turned us down. What are we doing wrong?
Maybe our feelings of needing to move out of state aren't just a crazy wish. Maybe that's what we are supposed to do.
It's so scary!
How are we supposed to sell our house and buy a new one, when the one we are in is worth less than what we owe? (We bought right before the market crashed....)
How does Lance go about interviewing out of state? It's not like we have the money right now for him to be flying all over the country.
If he gets a job somewhere, does he move out there and leave me alone here to pack up the rest, and move on my own? I hate being alone.
I'm not afraid of being jobless. I'm not afraid of losing anything that we own. I am afraid of the unknown. I'm afraid of having no idea what lies in my future. I don't know where I'm going. And surely, I have no idea how to get there.
I just need chocolate and a good movie, and I'll just forget about it all. Maybe if I don't acknowledge it, it will all just go away.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Silly Mama
Lance's mom told us she wanted a fleece jacket for Christmas this year, so today we went to go buy a few of the ones at Old Navy for her. They were only $5 this morning! Guess who we ran into there? His mom. Yeah. She was getting herself one. What a stink!
Peeps... between November 1st and December 25th, you aren't allowed to buy yourself anything. It's common Christmas courtesy. Really!
On another completely unrelated note, I like the word swagger. It's such a sexy word. I'm still unclear on the definition tho.
Dictionary.com says that it's a way to walk.
But the way people use it in conversation sounds like it means style, charm, and just overall sexiness. So that's how I'm gonna use it when I say... Eric Maynor (from the Jazz) has some SERIOUS swagger! He's not super attractive, but boy am I attracted. LOL!
It could also be the fact that from far away he looks like a brown Lance out there playing B-ball.
Yeah, that's it.
Love me some swagger!!
Peeps... between November 1st and December 25th, you aren't allowed to buy yourself anything. It's common Christmas courtesy. Really!
On another completely unrelated note, I like the word swagger. It's such a sexy word. I'm still unclear on the definition tho.
Dictionary.com says that it's a way to walk.
But the way people use it in conversation sounds like it means style, charm, and just overall sexiness. So that's how I'm gonna use it when I say... Eric Maynor (from the Jazz) has some SERIOUS swagger! He's not super attractive, but boy am I attracted. LOL!
It could also be the fact that from far away he looks like a brown Lance out there playing B-ball.
Yeah, that's it.
Love me some swagger!!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Letter From a Missionary - 4 & 5
Hey Jenn,
Thank you so much for all your letters. And yes it´s ok to write about none spiritual stuff. Thats awesome about the Jazz game. It´s weird to think that the season already started, because for me... nothing is happening in the world. So you said you knew when you were going to have a baby. But you didn´t tell me. It´s all good. I just want to be an uncle. Thats crazy about what´s happening with you and lance and church and stuff. I have to tell you, I am no good at socializing as well, but i´m forced to do it. That´s basically what missionary work is. I am no good at it. But i´ll learn. Sometimes I don´t want to learn but I think It´s really important to be able to speak to anyone. I speak to strangers everyday. The nice thing about home teaching and visiting teaching is that you can get to know them after a visit or 2. And you visit them over and over. I have to talk to new strangers everyday. It´s scary, but once you break the ice it´s fun.
Love you, Thank you so much for writting me.
Love Elder Keele
Hey Jenn,
I hope you are doing alright. I just want you to know I´m praying for you and lance. I hope he finds a job soon.Just stay positive, be smart.
I love you.
Love Elder keele
Thank you so much for all your letters. And yes it´s ok to write about none spiritual stuff. Thats awesome about the Jazz game. It´s weird to think that the season already started, because for me... nothing is happening in the world. So you said you knew when you were going to have a baby. But you didn´t tell me. It´s all good. I just want to be an uncle. Thats crazy about what´s happening with you and lance and church and stuff. I have to tell you, I am no good at socializing as well, but i´m forced to do it. That´s basically what missionary work is. I am no good at it. But i´ll learn. Sometimes I don´t want to learn but I think It´s really important to be able to speak to anyone. I speak to strangers everyday. The nice thing about home teaching and visiting teaching is that you can get to know them after a visit or 2. And you visit them over and over. I have to talk to new strangers everyday. It´s scary, but once you break the ice it´s fun.
Love you, Thank you so much for writting me.
Love Elder Keele
Hey Jenn,
I hope you are doing alright. I just want you to know I´m praying for you and lance. I hope he finds a job soon.Just stay positive, be smart.
I love you.
Love Elder keele
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Madness
Hosting Thanksgiving was a success! Luckily, I didn't have to make the turkey. Lance's wonderful mother took care of that for us. Hooray!
The plan was to eat by 1:00pm. Lance's family is usually late, so, I was sneaky. I told everyone to be there at noon. Is that rude?
Well, I don't care if it's rude, because it worked!
Laura brought the tables and she was there at noon. Yay! So I was able to set up everyone's place setting all purdy-like.
Lance's parents were there at 12:30 with the turkey all ready and carved! Wow! How nice of them!
Nicole didn't show up until 1:15. Good thing I said noon, or she may have shown up at 2:15. ☺
So all in all, it was a great success. Granted, our kitchen is STILL dirty, and dishes are STILL in the sink...but uh, Lance can take care of that. Not like he has a job or anything, right? (It's ok for me to say that (I hope), because he jokes about it all the time...)
I don't beleive I ever mentioned that. Yeah Lance got laid off from his job a few weeks ago.
I kind of like having him at home. We've talked more these past few weeks than we've talked the whole time we've been married (not really, but we do talk more often now...). It's so nice! He also does clean, do laundry and do the dishes. But he did that before. Just now it's done when I get home, so then we can spend the evening together doing whatever we'd like that is not related to housework. Also, Bentley gets to have a friend with her all day long. And she loves that. I love her!
Oh Bentley! We went to Petsmart to get something I won't mention for someone I won't mention and came out with stuff for Bentley. She's our child. We love her. We got her a new bed, a pink sweater, and a new collar. The bed is blue and green and has a cute paw print on it! It is so soft and fluffy. I think she loves it. The pink sweater.... yeah... I always made fun of people who dressed their dogs. But my poor baby was always so cold when she would go outside to go potty. It's so cute on her! It says "Snow Angel" on the back. And it has a hood..l. Ok, make fun of me. I don't care. And the collar, we got her because she chewed up her old one. Merry Christmas Bentley!
Black Friday was MADNESS! I have NEVER in my LIFE had such an AWFUL time shopping. EVER! And yes, I've shopped Black Friday many, many, many times before.
Toys 'R' Us had the brilliant idea to open up at midnight so that everyone, their dog, their cat and their bird would go there. We were at a Jazz game Thanksgiving night, and left early to go get in line at the Toys 'R' Us at Sugarhouse. We got there at around 11:00pm. The line wasn't very long at that time, so we weren't very far back. When the doors opened, we walked like civilized people into the madness that was about to occur.
We needed 2 items. Both of which I cannot mention. 2 items. TWO!! That is NOTHING compared to the shopping carts that were full of items, piled to the cealing. Ugh, it just urks me. Two items. First of all, we couldn't find what we were looking for. We even asked people who worked there, who then pointed us in a direction, the WRONG direction, I might add. After 45 minutes of searching we found what we were looking for. They were close to each other, hiding, not out in any open area, but near the front. So then we had to find the line! It took us an hour of walking around the store to find the line. When we got in the line, we stayed in it for 3 hours. Not moving. Nothing. Standing. Still water. Stale mate. We were thinking "@$%$#@%*& is going on?" (Yes, I think in symbols, not words.) Finally, we figured out that people were cutting in line, around the corner where we couldn't see. And there was nothing we could do about it. We talked to someone who worked there and he basically said there was nothing he could do about it. I don't know why I didn't punch him in the face and tell him to get me out of there. You work here, what do you mean you can't do anything about it? Stand there and tell them where the end of the line is. DUH!!!! So finally at 4am we were out of there.
I am never, ever shopping at Toys 'R' Us again. Ever.
After this, we were brave enough to go to Walmart. But, lucky for us Lance's sister, Laura was holding our stuff for us, so all we had to do was wait in line until the sale started at 5am.
We got home at 6am. I was supposed to go to my family's chocolate dipping party at 9am, but I was NOT going to wake up that soon.
I was going to give some homemade, chocolate dipped candy to my neighbors this year, and my visiting teachers, as well as the ladies I visit teach. But... I didn't get any. It sucks. Big time. Boo hoo.
At least I got some good stuff for the people I love. They better like it. I almost died getting it for them.
The plan was to eat by 1:00pm. Lance's family is usually late, so, I was sneaky. I told everyone to be there at noon. Is that rude?
Well, I don't care if it's rude, because it worked!
Laura brought the tables and she was there at noon. Yay! So I was able to set up everyone's place setting all purdy-like.
Lance's parents were there at 12:30 with the turkey all ready and carved! Wow! How nice of them!
Nicole didn't show up until 1:15. Good thing I said noon, or she may have shown up at 2:15. ☺
So all in all, it was a great success. Granted, our kitchen is STILL dirty, and dishes are STILL in the sink...but uh, Lance can take care of that. Not like he has a job or anything, right? (It's ok for me to say that (I hope), because he jokes about it all the time...)
I don't beleive I ever mentioned that. Yeah Lance got laid off from his job a few weeks ago.
I kind of like having him at home. We've talked more these past few weeks than we've talked the whole time we've been married (not really, but we do talk more often now...). It's so nice! He also does clean, do laundry and do the dishes. But he did that before. Just now it's done when I get home, so then we can spend the evening together doing whatever we'd like that is not related to housework. Also, Bentley gets to have a friend with her all day long. And she loves that. I love her!
Oh Bentley! We went to Petsmart to get something I won't mention for someone I won't mention and came out with stuff for Bentley. She's our child. We love her. We got her a new bed, a pink sweater, and a new collar. The bed is blue and green and has a cute paw print on it! It is so soft and fluffy. I think she loves it. The pink sweater.... yeah... I always made fun of people who dressed their dogs. But my poor baby was always so cold when she would go outside to go potty. It's so cute on her! It says "Snow Angel" on the back. And it has a hood..l. Ok, make fun of me. I don't care. And the collar, we got her because she chewed up her old one. Merry Christmas Bentley!
Black Friday was MADNESS! I have NEVER in my LIFE had such an AWFUL time shopping. EVER! And yes, I've shopped Black Friday many, many, many times before.
Toys 'R' Us had the brilliant idea to open up at midnight so that everyone, their dog, their cat and their bird would go there. We were at a Jazz game Thanksgiving night, and left early to go get in line at the Toys 'R' Us at Sugarhouse. We got there at around 11:00pm. The line wasn't very long at that time, so we weren't very far back. When the doors opened, we walked like civilized people into the madness that was about to occur.
We needed 2 items. Both of which I cannot mention. 2 items. TWO!! That is NOTHING compared to the shopping carts that were full of items, piled to the cealing. Ugh, it just urks me. Two items. First of all, we couldn't find what we were looking for. We even asked people who worked there, who then pointed us in a direction, the WRONG direction, I might add. After 45 minutes of searching we found what we were looking for. They were close to each other, hiding, not out in any open area, but near the front. So then we had to find the line! It took us an hour of walking around the store to find the line. When we got in the line, we stayed in it for 3 hours. Not moving. Nothing. Standing. Still water. Stale mate. We were thinking "@$%$#@%*& is going on?" (Yes, I think in symbols, not words.) Finally, we figured out that people were cutting in line, around the corner where we couldn't see. And there was nothing we could do about it. We talked to someone who worked there and he basically said there was nothing he could do about it. I don't know why I didn't punch him in the face and tell him to get me out of there. You work here, what do you mean you can't do anything about it? Stand there and tell them where the end of the line is. DUH!!!! So finally at 4am we were out of there.
I am never, ever shopping at Toys 'R' Us again. Ever.
After this, we were brave enough to go to Walmart. But, lucky for us Lance's sister, Laura was holding our stuff for us, so all we had to do was wait in line until the sale started at 5am.
We got home at 6am. I was supposed to go to my family's chocolate dipping party at 9am, but I was NOT going to wake up that soon.
I was going to give some homemade, chocolate dipped candy to my neighbors this year, and my visiting teachers, as well as the ladies I visit teach. But... I didn't get any. It sucks. Big time. Boo hoo.
At least I got some good stuff for the people I love. They better like it. I almost died getting it for them.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Satisfaction
I went to see New Moon tonight with Sierra, Megan, Sheri and Julie. I enjoyed it very much. The movie was good. Way better quality than the first one, and the acting didn't bother me as much.
Edward is still not good-looking enough.
Not that I care, since I'm on "team Jacob".
But then again, I'm only really on "team Jacob" because Jacob is more attractive. When I read the books I was all for Edward.
Funny how fickle I am.
My friendship with Sierra has been very strained lately. I'm not sure exactly why. I still want to be her friend, but it seems so hard these days. I know that when I have a problem with something the problem is usually with myself, so I need to change myself in order to fix the problem. But don't know what to change about myself in order to become closer to Sierra again.
Tonight I just felt... I can't even think of a word for it. I guess I just felt like she was putting me down a lot. Putting me down as in bringing up things from the past that I've moved on from, but she likes to bring them up in order to put me down. Maybe? I don't really know how to explain it.
It's just hard being friends with someone when I don't know why they're friends with me. What does she get out of our friendship? What do I get out of our friendship? What are friends supposed to get out of each other? We're supposed to build each other up, make one another feel good about ourselves. Bring out the best in the other person. I don't feel like either one of us does that for the other.
So why do I feel like I need her to be my friend? Is it out of habit? Just because she's been my friend since Jr. High? Jr High, a time when everyone is trying to find their place in the world. A time when we're all changing and developing, and just trying to fit in. She accepted me back then. We were equals. We had things in common. Now what do we have?
She has a child, I don't have a child. I am married, she isn't married. She enjoys fantasy novels, and I don't really like to read. She likes to get into deep conversations and debates, and I prefer to talk about things without debate and without getting too deep.
So where do I go from here? I can't just stop being friends with someone. Who does that? Unless something major happens where you both end up hating each other. But come on, really? That's so Jr. High.
I guess I am just feeling friendless. I am feeling sorry for myself. I have Lance, and he is the greatest friend I could ever have. So why do I feel like I need a friend outside of him? I should be happy with what I have, right? I have it good.
So I guess what needs to change about me is that nothing is ever good enough. I need to learn to be satisfied.
Now, how does one go about that?
Edward is still not good-looking enough.
Not that I care, since I'm on "team Jacob".
But then again, I'm only really on "team Jacob" because Jacob is more attractive. When I read the books I was all for Edward.
Funny how fickle I am.
My friendship with Sierra has been very strained lately. I'm not sure exactly why. I still want to be her friend, but it seems so hard these days. I know that when I have a problem with something the problem is usually with myself, so I need to change myself in order to fix the problem. But don't know what to change about myself in order to become closer to Sierra again.
Tonight I just felt... I can't even think of a word for it. I guess I just felt like she was putting me down a lot. Putting me down as in bringing up things from the past that I've moved on from, but she likes to bring them up in order to put me down. Maybe? I don't really know how to explain it.
It's just hard being friends with someone when I don't know why they're friends with me. What does she get out of our friendship? What do I get out of our friendship? What are friends supposed to get out of each other? We're supposed to build each other up, make one another feel good about ourselves. Bring out the best in the other person. I don't feel like either one of us does that for the other.
So why do I feel like I need her to be my friend? Is it out of habit? Just because she's been my friend since Jr. High? Jr High, a time when everyone is trying to find their place in the world. A time when we're all changing and developing, and just trying to fit in. She accepted me back then. We were equals. We had things in common. Now what do we have?
She has a child, I don't have a child. I am married, she isn't married. She enjoys fantasy novels, and I don't really like to read. She likes to get into deep conversations and debates, and I prefer to talk about things without debate and without getting too deep.
So where do I go from here? I can't just stop being friends with someone. Who does that? Unless something major happens where you both end up hating each other. But come on, really? That's so Jr. High.
I guess I am just feeling friendless. I am feeling sorry for myself. I have Lance, and he is the greatest friend I could ever have. So why do I feel like I need a friend outside of him? I should be happy with what I have, right? I have it good.
So I guess what needs to change about me is that nothing is ever good enough. I need to learn to be satisfied.
Now, how does one go about that?
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