Monday, August 16, 2010

Feeling the Pressure

Another draft I never posted....

Please stop asking Lance and I when we are going to have kids.


I REFUSE to be a working mom.  When I was young, my mom had to go back to work because we didn't have enough money.  It was so hard on me.  I'm sure it was hard on my other siblings as well.  We never really discussed it because we knew she had to.  I feel like my younger siblings were deprived of all the good things that a stay at home mom does.  It was so nice to have her walk me to the corner every morning before school, and meet me at the corner after school.  It was nice to have her there to help me with my homework after school.  I was taught to do my chores before playing.  Then, when Dad would come home we would spend time together as a family, not in front of the TV, but around the dinner table, outside in the yard, or singing around the piano.  That's how it should be.  That's how I expect my family to be.

Lance and I are not in a position for me to quit my  job.  Lance's job doesn't provide benefits.  How do you have a baby without health insurance?  Not only that, but if I quit my job we won't have enough money to pay our bills, let alone pay for the things necessary to live, such as, um, I dunno, food?

So let's say I forget about all that and keep my job.  I REFUSE to put my child in day care.  I worked in day cares for two years.  It's just not happening.  I will raise my child, NOT a stranger who happens to also be watching 10 other kids.  No, I don't want my mom or Lance's mom to raise them either.  Not happening.  It's not the grandparents' responsibility to raise my child, it's mine.

I'm 22 years old.  Why is it even necessary for me to even think about having kids?  Yeah, I've been married for three years.  So what?  If I'm not in a position to have a child, I'm not in a position to have a child.  Not only that, but I don't even have the desire right now.  Why should we have kids to make other people happy?

You can say, "Oh, everything will just work itself out."  That's nice.  I like to have plans.  I don't like to make a huge decision and then just hope it works itself out.  I'm sure the Lord will let me know when the time is right.  But the time isn't right.  When it is, I'll let you know.

PS: When I do have kids, I'm totally having twins.

Hero

Looking through my "drafts" lately... and here's one I never posted.  Too bad Kyle doesn't play for the Jazz anymore.  Yeah, I'm not over it.  I don't think I'll ever be over it.  When we play the Bulls... I just might root for the Bulls.  *gasp!*

I never really thought I had a hero until recently.  Your hero might be your parent, your spouse, a sibling, maybe even a teacher.

My hero is Kyle Korver.  No, not because he's gorgeous, rich, famous, talented, etc. etc.  It's because he's so giving.

When you hear about NBA players, you usually hear about them cheating on their wife, or having multiple children with multiple baby mommas, or getting DUIs, or punching fans in the face (that one is rare... but yeah it's happened!), going to jail, doing drugs, the list goes on and on.

I know Kyle Korver isn't the only athlete who keeps his name clean, and yeah, maybe I only notice him because he's so attractive.  Or, maybe it's because he's on the Jazz.  Yeah, that's it.  But he has so many charities, I don't know how he keeps them straight.

Every year he does a coat drive in November where he asks his fans to bring in coats for the needy and he'll give you two autographs.  He donates tickets to people who wouldn't normally afford to go to the games.  He has the Kyle Korver Foundation that helps kids that are on the streets in Philadelphia (Philadelphia because that's where he was when he started his NBA career).  He recently started a clothing line where 100% of the profits go to helping people in need.  His projects as of late have been repairing people's roofs as well as building ramps for people in wheelchairs.  Those shirts are hott, too! (Yep, I have one!)

You can think I'm shallow if you want, I don't mind.  I'll always admire Kyle.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

High School Wisdom

I took my journal I wrote in during my high school years from my mom's house the other day and read it cover to cover.  Wow, was I drama.

But something I wrote really stood out to me.

"...If you are comfortable with where you are, chances are you should get going. A scripture comes to mind. 'The natural (comfortable) man is an enemy to God.' - Mosiah 3:19.  I have that scripture marked.  Next to it written: 'We are an enemy unless we are anxiously engaged in righteous things.'"

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Another Vegas Trip

A couple of weeks ago, Lance and I went to Vegas with my sister, Emilee.  It was a lot of fun!  We stayed at the Fitz on Fremont.  By the way, it's a terrible hotel.  Don't stay there.

On Friday we went to the Chocolate Factory because we thought maybe they'd be making chocolate.  Well, they weren't.  They never are making chocolate when we go there!   We asked someone who worked there what was up with that, and he told us they usually make chocolate in the mornings, Monday through Thursday.  I guess, now we know!



We went swimming!  When Lance and I go places, we never seem to have time to visit the pool, so I was pretty excited.  It was soooo hot outside so the water felt very, very nice.  Emilee and I did abdominal exercises back and forth in the pool.

For dinner one night, we went to a very, very delicious steakhouse called Embers.  http://www.imperialpalace.com/casinos/imperial-palace/restaurants-dining/embers-detail.html
I loved it!  Definitely a restaurant to eat at again in the future.  I got the 8 oz Filet Mignon, with Garlic Mashed Potatoes, and Sauteed Vegetable Medley.  So amazing!




A little Vegas tip for you: if you go to Tix 4 Tonight to buy your show tickets, for $2 or $3 per person, they can make you dinner reservations at restaurants like this one, as well as give you 50% off of your bill.  So yes, this restaurant is expensive, but Lance, Emilee and I all ate there for the same price as Applebee's or a restaurant similar to that would have been.  Steal of a deal, if you ask me!

After Embers we went to the show Matsuri (Ok, I don't remember how to spell it).  It was a really good show.  Lots of dancing and "tricks".  Very similar to a Cirque de Soleil.  It was a lot of fun.  I hoped Emilee had a good time.




On Saturday we went to lunch at my all time favorite Mexican restaurant, El Patron.  Emilee and I split the super delicious pork burrito that I love love love.  I think she liked it.

Other things that we did were visit the Coke and M&M stores, walked the strip a little bit, stopping to watch the Mirage Volcano and the fountains at the Bellagio.  We also ate at CiCi's Pizza, but it was actually pretty gross this time.



Lance and I had a good time, and I hope that Emilee did too.

Motivation

I just want to say that we all fail Insanity.  I lack motivation for... pretty much everything right now.  Not that I'm depressed or anything, I'm just lazy.  For example, my house is a disaster in every room, I don't have any clean clothes, and our fridge and pantry are pretty much empty.  So yeah... laziness.  What am I going to do about it?  Nothing.

Katie had Mabel and she is beautiful.  She is tiny, too!  I like her.

Work is really picking up.  I worked almost 90 hours last pay period.  The thing that stinks about having only one vehicle is that if I have to go in to work earlier, I can't leave earlier, because Lance doesn't get off until 5:00.  It would be sooo much better if we didn't have to drive for 45 minutes to get home.  A 10 minute drive would be nice.  I could get off early and go home and be with Bentley, then go pick up Lance at 5.  But no.  Instead, we have to leave our house at 7:45am, so Lance can drop me off at work by 8:30.  Lance gets off at around 5:00, so he picks me up from work at about 5:30pm.  That right there is a 9 hour workday.  Then we drive for 45 minutes to an hour, depending on traffic, to get home to our cute little Bentley.  By that time, I'm so mentally exhausted that I just want to lie around and do nothing, so that's what I do.

It's only going to get worse as the cycle (the busy period at work) gets going full-steam.  Instead of having 90 hours in a pay period, I'll have 100.  And no, OT is not a good thing, because I'm on salary.