Food

Sometimes I stop feeling sorry for myself.

On those brief occasions I think about:

My favoritest fruit in the world!

And guess what?  They're soon to be in season!  Yippy-ky-yi-ay!  Donations gladly accepted.

I'm hosting Bunco next Thursday.  No clue what to cook for dinner.  Haven't been in the mood to cook.  I'm thinking I want Lasagna.  I want to try to recreate the amazing lasagna I made a couple of weeks ago.  I also want to have a salad that will taste like Olive Garden's.  But then again I also want my "regular" salad.  Which is mixed greens, some sort of fruit (apples, grapes, pears, possibly pomegranate?!), crasins, and a touch of cheese (such as freshly shaved parmesan), served with a vinaigrette of some sort. I also want garlic-cheese toast.  I'm thinking about making peach crisp for dessert, but it doesn't really match the Italian theme, and thinking about eating those things together kind of makes my stomach flop (It could be a pregnant thing).  I need to think of an Italian-ish dessert, or else plain ole ice cream it will be!

Fat

That's how I feel.

My stomach is starting to stick out.

Any time I eat something, it increases by four inches.  Not even exaggerating.

I threw up last week.  I thought it was because I had a bite of a cold leftover burger, and because I was working hard making delicious snacks for a tailgate party.  However, today while doing my hair I started to get light headed and dizzy, just like when I threw up.

So I went and laid down for a minute and I realized that when I threw up last week I had just finished styling my hair, and I haven't styled my hair since then.  So apparently, I get lightheaded and dizzy when I style my hair (because my arms are up?) which causes me to become nauseous.  Very strange.  I'll take it though.  If that's the only time I'm sick I'm fine with it.

Why?

One question I don't know will ever be answered; Why?

Why, after waiting four years to have a child, did my family have to leave?

Why, while I'm pregnant and shortly after my family left, did my father-in-law have to pass away?

Why?

What am I to learn from this?  That I'm supposed to be alone?  That I'm supposed to be sad?  That when things start to be OK something worse happens?

WHY?!?!

We went to dinner with Lance's parents Wednesday night.  Thursday afternoon he was gone.  Why?  Nothing was out of the norm. Why Thursday?  What made that day special?  Why was that the "right time"?




Dad was so excited to meet our baby.  He loved babies.

Dad always listened to whatever I had to say.  He made me feel like I was one of his own.

He gave me my best friend, who I know will be a great husband and father like he was.




I can't help but be angry, sad, confused and bitter.

I Remember

If you've posted a fake pregnancy announcement due to the latest "breast cancer awareness", I don't hate you.  However, I find it inconsiderate.

Think about those who are pregnant.  Those who cannot get pregnant.  Those who have miscarried.

Pregnancy announcements are not a joke.

It's also as unrelated to breast cancer as cheese toast.

Besides, OCTOBER is breast cancer awareness month.  Why not start a trend for 9/11 remembrance?  Something like... posting where you were when you heard the news that changed America forever.

I was 13, getting ready for another day of 8th grade.  I was listening to the radio, The Morning Zoo. I didn't understand.

When I got to school, my homeroom teacher had the news on, as did every other teacher in the school for the rest of the day.

I got the opportunity to go to New York 11 months after.  There were large holes in the ground where the towers once stood.  Roads were still shut down all around.  The Subway was still out of commission.  Steele from one of the corners of one of the towers had been left in place, formed into a cross.  Trinity church had thousands and thousands of photos of missing people.

I will not forget.

Had to Laugh

I'm eating my lunch right now.  It's delicious homemade lasagna that I kind of made up myself.  I'm really sad that I didn't pay attention to everything I put in here because it's the best lasagna I've ever had!  (Sorry mom.)

Anyway, I had to giggle as I walked past the other offices with a plate full of pickles as my side vegetable for the day.

So cliche.  Right?

I promise it's not a pregnancy craving. I simply like pickles and I always have.  This isn't the first time I've kept a jar of pickles in the work fridge, and I'm sure it won't be the last.