Overwhelmed

I'm so overwhelmed.

Our lease on this apartment is up at the end of July, which means, our 60 days notice is due by the end of this month.

I'm not ready to move again.  I do not think an explanation is necessary.

At the same time, I hate, hate, hate this apartment.

I hate how tiny the kitchen is.  If the dishwasher is open, I can't walk around it.  My cupboard space is a joke, and my counter space is almost nonexistant, but add in the fact that there is no microwave above the stove, so a microwave takes up 50% of the counter space that I have.  As you can imagine, cooking sucks.  I hate it.

I am sick of having to go to a laundromat.

I am sick of our only bathrooms being accessible through the bedrooms.  When I'm working late at night, I get to wake up Lance or wake up Lily.

There is carpet, carpet everywhere!  You can only guess what it looks like underneath Lily's high chair, even though her high chair IS on the plastic mat that was supposed to be for my desk chair.  Who puts carpet underneath where you're supposed to be eating?  That just doesn't make sense.  It's like they're vultures just waiting for you to stain it so they can rip you off on cleaning fees.


So naturally, our apartment search looks like this:

3 bedrooms, so I can have an office.  That will be necessary during the cycle, where I will be working 12-14 hours every night. 7pm to 7am, possibly 9am.  Last cycle in Utah, the latest I worked was 8am, that'd be 10am here.  I get an office or I don't move.

A kitchen where I can have the dishwasher open and be able to walk around it.  Ideally I'd like a gourmet kitchen, or at least a nice wide open one, with granite counter tops and new appliances, but that's not going to happen with our budget.  So, just give me some freaking space in the kitchen and I'll take it. This shouldn't be a big deal, but apparently no one cooks around here, or no one needs space to cook. I don't get it.

A bathroom that isn't located inside a bedroom?

Washer and dryer in unit. No compromise.

I'd like to stay in our ward, but that's proving to be difficult. We have a lot of crappy areas in our ward, including the one I'm in currently. We also have a lot of fancy areas in our ward, where rent is way over what we can afford.  There is not much inbetween.

We set a budget and I found some really promising properties within that budget, but Lance complained they were too expensive. To say that's frustrating would be an understatement.



Besides the house hunt, I'm also overwhelmed because my period was 11 days late.  When you've been trying for a baby for a year and a half, that causes a lot of excitement at first, until your period comes and then you just want to explode and throw stuff.

Not to mention that I bought brand new underwear, was wearing protection up until yesterday, but decided maybe my period just wasn't going to come. Surprise surprise, stained underwear today. I'm so pissed off.