Nursing

I never knew what to expect once Lily was born.  But surprisingly, everything feels quite natural.

The first night she was born, I gave my first attempt at nursing, and I was shocked that it came so natural.  Dare I say, easy?  She was wide awake, nursing, for 45 minutes on each side.  I didn't really know how long to let her go, and I didn't have it in me to pull her away, so we just sat there for an hour and a half, bonding.  She probably didn't get much after the first 10 minutes, but I enjoyed that quiet, peaceful time with her.

The next day, she slept practically all day.  I tried waking her up every three hours, but she'd latch on and then just fall asleep.  Clearly not hungry.  The nurses didn't seem worried, but after 12 hours we decided to do a blood sugar test to make sure she was OK.  And she was.  But that night was extremely difficult. Lily was acting really hungry.  She'd take the binky, she'd take my pinky, but she would not latch on for the life of me.  She hadn't eaten in a long time, so I called the nurse in for help.

The nurse suggested trying the SNS.  She seemed to think that Lily was frustrated because she wasn't getting enough to eat.  I wanted desperately for Lily to not be so sad, so I tried it, and it worked!  I used the SNS system for each feeding that night.

The next day I went to a breastfeeding class that was offered at the hospital.  I had gone to one previously, but I figured since this was free, why not?  The class was great, and then the lactation nurse offered to come in and give me some tips with Lily.  I told the nurse that I had used SNS the night before because Lily wasn't eating.  The nurse seemed very upset about that, and said that now it would be hard to get Lily to latch on because she's used to a faster flow.

That kind of upset me, but I welcomed any advice and help she'd give me.   When she got to my room, she was upset at how many infant formula bottles were in Lily's cart.  That hurt my feelings.  If Lily wasn't latching on, and the SNS is what worked, then what's the problem?  All the other nurses said everything would be just fine once my milk came in and Lily was actually getting enough to eat.

Anyway, the nurse helped me try some tricks to get Lily latched on, and that worked for a couple of feedings.  But later that day, it stopped working. Lily was not happy.  So then I tried using the SNS, and I couldn't get her to latch on.  Again, several hours of this, and then both Lily and I were crying.  I was ready to give up and just use a bottle.

Lance called the nurse in, and when she saw me crying, she felt so bad she was crying too.  She helped me get Lily on and everything was fine for that feeding.  But this made me so scared to keep trying!  It was frustrating and depressing.


We were set to go home that night, and I was just afraid.  If I had problems, I didn't have a button I could press for a nurse to come help me.

We got home and I told my mom what was happening.  She suggested trying different holds.  I'd mostly been using the cross cradle.  Mom said that Emilee and Jessica hated every position besides the football hold.  So I went upstairs and tried the football hold.  Success!  Lily went on perfectly and peacefully.  Every feeding since then has been blissful.

I enjoy the quiet bonding time that nursing provides.  I like it when she falls asleep with such a peaceful look on her face, and pardon this personal note, but with one hand on each side of my breast.  It brings me such joy to see her so content and satisfied. I love the little noises she makes when she eats.  It's usually a sigh or a growl.  The growls are funny.  I like it when she's full but awake still pretending to eat.  I love how she looks around the room and tries to figure everything out.

As of right now, nursing is going wonderfully.  Lily has never had a bottle, and we've not used the SNS system since we've been home from the hospital.  She sleeps enough that I don't feel extremely grumpy all the time.  I'm surprised at how OK I am with getting up every 2-3 hours to feed her.  If I keep her awake and feeding every two to three hours during the day, I can get a good 5 hour stretch at night where she sleeps the entire time.

I don't really like using pacifiers, but I do use one after I feed her if she's semi-asleep, but still wants to suck on something.  It usually falls out in about 10 minutes.

I don't want to get too comfortable though.  I hear that just when nursing become easy and comfortable, BAM, baby has a growth spurt and wants to eat all the time.  That will probably happen this week or next, and I'm ready for it.  I want to exclusively breast feed for at least 2 weeks, then I'll start pumping, using this wonderful Medela breast pump that DataWise bought for me.  Then Lily can have breast milk in a bottle.  I don't really ever want to use formula.  We'll see if I can achieve that goal.