I think it's funny how 10 months of my life seemed to drag by while I was pregnant. Then all of a sudden, as if someone hit fast-forward, the last month sped by. I feel like I've come so far from the emotional, squishy, depressed, sleep-deprived person I was four weeks ago.
Lily is doing great. The first week home from the hospital was hard because of how much pain I was in, how tired I was and how emotional I was.
The next two weeks were hard because I felt like all I was doing was nursing. I'd nurse for 40 minutes, and she still wouldn't be full. Nurse, nurse, nurse. I almost gave up and went to formula because I was sick of sitting around nursing! But, I didn't. We're still formula free.
Last week was hard because Lily seemed to have a tummy ache every single day. Fussy, fussy, fussy. All she wanted to do was cry. She'd cry any time other than when she was eating, and it caused her to over eat, and spit up several times. But I'd rather have that than have her sit there and fuss at me. I don't really believe that what I eat could cause her to have a tummy ache, but my mom seems to. So I decided that I just would live on vitamins. Not really, but that's what I felt like doing. I made no restrictions in my diet, and in the last few days she hasn't had any tummy aches. Just a phase I suppose.
Saturday night Lily slept through the night. She slept from 10pm to 7am. It was crazy. I didn't sleep through the night because I kept waking up expecting her to wake up. Lance and I both checked her on her a few times. When I checked on her at 7am, she was wide awake in her bassinet, just looking around, hanging out, being mellow. It was awesome!
Easter Sunday we got our first real smiles. Lily normally smiles in her sleep, but Lance was holding her and talking to her and she looked straight at him and smiled. Twice. It was so cute! Later that day, after I fed her, I was just talking to her and she looked me straight in the eye and smiled. It made my day! Happy Easter/one month birthday to Lily indeed!
Last night she didn't sleep through the night, but she slept for 6 hours. I, however, could not sleep. That wasn't fair. I just laid in bed, wide awake, for what felt like all night. When she woke up at 6am I was wide awake and ready to start the day. But after feeding her, I got tired, and then I finally slept... until 11am. When I got up at 11, Lily was still sleeping. She's a really good sleeper. Now if I can just get it timed so she sleeps good stretches while I'm working, we'll be golden.
I still have two weeks until I go back to work, so I'd rather not think about that now.
I was going to start Insanity today, but waking up at 11am kind of ruined that. I can't work out in the afternoon or evening. Well, I mean, I can't do Insanity in the afternoon or evening. It needs to be at the bum crack of dawn or I will throw up. So, instead, this week I'm starting to eat better, then next week I'll start working out.
I'm down 15 pounds since I came home from the hospital. I have 32 more to lose until I'm pre-pregnancy weight. This really bothers me, but I guess this is my reality so I'll deal with it. I've been the same weight for two weeks in a row now, so I don't think that nursing is helping any. Although, I think I lost an inch off each thigh. Thank goodness, because they were HUGE! Can you believe the ONLY place I got stretch marks was on my outer thighs? Not on my tummy... my thighs. That's where I gained most of my weight.
Lily's hair is RED. I thought it was strawberry blonde, but it is RED RED RED. I think it's pretty, but Lance is in denial. Apparently he doesn't want a red-headed child. Too bad for him! I just hope she doesn't get my fair, freckly skin...
My mom leaves tomorrow. I'm scared. Now I really have to be a mom. I have to figure out how to take care of Lily, myself, my house, and my husband, while working 35 hours a week. I'm not sure I can do it. One step at a time, I suppose. And I realize some days will go better than others. Here's looking at the next chapter in motherhood...
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