My Dreams

My goals. My aspirations.  What I want to become.  What I want to accomplish in my life.  These are all things that change from time to time.  But two things have remained...

I want to be a wife and stay at home mother,

and,

I want to do hair.

Simple right?  It's so easy to think about things that you want.  The hard part is taking those thoughts and putting them in a plan of action to actually get what you want.  It's much easier to dream about your dream car than it is to make the payments on it and to dedicate extra time to take care of it.  I'm a firm believer in "you get what you wish for."  You can get anything you want, you just have to work for it.

Yeah, I could do hair.  All I need to do is go to school and learn the craft.  I've got friends and family whose hair I would do if I knew how.  Why don't I go to school?  Fear.  I'm afraid.  I'm afraid of meeting new people.  I'm afraid of putting too many tasks in my life, thus having less free time with Lance and friends and family.  I'm afraid of how long it will take for me to graduate, due to the fact that I would need to take night school classes, and they tend to be part-time, instead of full time.  I'm afraid of the money it will cost to put me through hair school.  I'm afraid of debt.  I'm afraid of working less at my current job.  I'm afraid of making less money. 

Yeah, I could be a mom.  Why am I not a mom yet?  Again, fear.  These fears are different from the hair school fears, and are very personal fears, so I won't share them, but they are there.  I'm working on them.  It's not easy, but I'm trying.

I'll admit it, this isn't my dream job.  I never grew up wishing I'd be in political marketing, or checking reports and tables for clients.  That's just where I landed.  I'm thankful for my job.  They treat me well here. I have no reason to leave here, at least until I can fully accomplish my stay at home mom goal.  That might be a while.