Monday, January 27, 2014

Time to Get Real

Lily has been sick for the past week so I'm pretty tired.

It's helped me learn to be more patient with her, though, and try to be more sympathetic to how she's feeling.

She's never been this sick before, or, if she has, she's never been this vocal about it before.
After 5 days of constant whining, crying, and not sleeping you start to go sorta crazy.

She's starting to get better now, so that's good, and I can finally get some real rest.

We went to Tampa for the weekend, which was probably a bad idea with a sick child.  Friday night we put her to bed at 9:30, and she just cried and cried.

You see, Lily soothes herself by rubbing a specific corner of her blanket on her face while sucking her thumb.  If she can't breathe through her nose, she can't sleep.

Eventually she did fall asleep, only to wake up at 1am and not go back to sleep again until 5am.

So, that's lovely. We paid $$$ so we could go to a hotel and stay up all night long.


To be honest, I got the same amount of sleep as I would any other normal night. Which isn't enough. But nobody really wants to hear about that.

The next day we bought some Benadryl-D and drugged her up with that so she could breathe out of her nose. Surprise, surprise, she slept all night.  Poor little thing.  She just wanted to suck her thumb!

Anyway, other things we did in Tampa was visit the Hard Rock Cafe, we went to Apollo beach, and we went to TGI Friday's.

We didn't do much, really I just wanted out of the house.

Walk? She says. She likes to walk!

...and walk.  PS: Lance reminds me of his dad in this picture. Bending down to pick up something off the floor. For Jerry, that was usually a coin or something.  I miss Jerry.

...and walk!

I had to snap this really fast, because she was about to head down the stairs which end IN the water.  Not quite warm enough to go swimming! (65ish degrees with a bit of a breeze.)

There was a girl in the water with her GIANT great dane, and there was a stingray floating nearby them.  When the girl got out of the water, the dog came running over to me, and even though I'm not afraid of dogs, it made me really nervous.  It was tall enough, on all fours, to stare me straight in the eyes.

I'm not very tall, but for a dog to be nearly five feet tall while it's on all fours is like DAAANNNG!

And also, yes, we saw a stingray!  Pretty cool.

And more walking. :-)

So yeah, quick trip to Tampa.  Tampa is only about an hour away, depending on how far into Tampa you go.  The beach was another 15-20 minutes from our hotel.

But yeah, I wanted out of the house. We have one car, which Lance takes to work, so I'm home with Lily all day long, every day.  When Lance gets home we eat dinner, clean up dinner and then I work all night long.  I go to bed around 2 or 3 in the morning, and then start the routine all over again.

It's a very boring, not to mention exhausting, existence.

My house is dirty and gross 99% of the time because during Lily's nap time (my only real time to myself) I'd rather put on makeup than clean or take a nap.  Although some days I DO take a nap, but I'd rather have me time than my own nap time.

I do my makeup, but neglect my hair. I don't really go anywhere so the whole physical appearance thing is like: Why? Because I like makeup, that's why!

I do get Lily to help me put away her toys before nap time, and Daddy (sometimes) gets her to do it before bedtime.

Sometimes I do dishes, sometimes I don't. Lance will do them occasionally, if I ask him nicely.

I don't really watch TV, but I do let Lily watch TV.

I tried starting to teach her lessons out of the same manual as her church lessons come from, but she gets angry at me and just cries when I try to get her to sit with me and listen to a story.  I want to keep trying, but when I'm tired and grumpy, it just causes me to be unnecessarily harsh with her.

One thing that I have gotten better at since being in this no-car situation is making dinner and not going out to eat.  I'm actually super proud of this. I make dinner Sunday-Thursday, and we eat out Friday and Saturday nights.  I've gotten better at sitting down to plan a menu and grocery list, following through with the actual grocery shopping, which I hate, and actually cooking at night.

It is probably because if I don't buy groceries on Saturday, I will not have food while Lance is at work.

Lance SO doesn't care if the house is messy or if dinner isn't ready when he gets home. He just cares about seeing me and Lily. It's a double edged sword, really, as well as being the reason I've been a terrible homemaker for the past 6.5 years.  But I'll keep him. He's great!

I'd like to take some pictures of where we live to share with ya'll, but I haven't gotten around to it.  Next time I take Lily on a walk I'll try to snap some pictures.  It really is lovely here. It's green still. Yes, in January!  It's pretty warm, but it does get cold. For a while there I was having to turn on the heater at night, but then turn the A/C back on during the day.  Our windows face the sun, and we're on the second level.

Summertime will be a ...


Friday, January 24, 2014

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Oh, My Cute Girl

In the morning, I have to be really careful about the order of how I do things.

I must take the dogs out before I get Lily up and feed her breakfast.  If not...

She'll climb out of her high chair, find a tooth brush, and cry at the top of the stairs until I come back in.

She loves brushing her teeth.  She asks for any time she sees tooth paste or a tooth brush.

In fact, today she went into my bathroom and grabbed the tooth paste and was eating it.

Kinda gross.

Lily also loves, loves, LOVES going to the park. If we go on a walk and pass the park she will cry.

If we spend an hour at the park, she will cry when it's time to go.

She was pointing at an airplane.

She loves the slides. Her favorite is the tallest one. She practically jumps on it to slide down! (This picture is the smallest slide, not the tallest slide.)


Sure do love this girl!

Ugly Snaps

I like them!

The trick is to hold the camera at a really unflattering angle.

Try to get as many chins as you can - I think I count four in this picture. Winning!

Make crazy eyes. Different directions is great, but cross eyed works too.

Then do something abnormal with your mouth. Make your lips weird, stick our tongue out, make your lips go different directions. Really try to show your skills here.

Take the picture, and send it to all of your friends!


Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Have you seen this picture?

That's how I feel about this song: Home - Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros.

I like how it sounds really old. I like the whistling. I like the rhythm. I like the flow.

Not to mention it's super cute, and it pretty much sums up my year if I insert some specific places:

Utah, Raleigh, Flor-i-da, home is wherever I'm with you.

Friday, January 10, 2014


It's been a rough week.

I've pushed myself really hard at home and at work.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed, but a quote from The Family: A Proclamation to the World keeps playing over and over in my head:

"Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

That one small sentence means so much to me.

It means that I can leave dishes in the sink all week.

I can neglect laundry.

I can have toys all over the house.

I can have crazy hair.

Heck, I can be unshowered.

All of the above mentioned items I am really good at. :)  But there's one thing missing:

I should stop working when I need to, in order to be able to get the rest needed to be the mom that Lily needs.

My primary responsibility is to take care of Lily. Be there for Lily. Play with Lily. Teach Lily.  Everything else comes second.

This week has been a lot of naps, and not a lot of play. A lot of TV and not a lot of interaction. And I feel terrible.

Here's hoping I do better next week.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Ipsy January - Sneak Peeks

I really love getting Ipsy bags. I get 4-5 deluxe sample, or even full sized, beauty products each month, along with a cute bag to put them in. It's only $10 (unless you live in NC or CA; they have to charge tax if you live in those states). When you first sign up, you take a beauty quiz so they can match products (as best they can) to what you want and what you're looking for. You can retake the quiz at any time.

From Ipsy's site:

Michelle Phan has inspired countless women around the world through her beauty video tutorials on YouTube. Every day, the question Michelle gets asked the most is: "What are the right products for me?"

With infinite beauty product combinations in the marketplace, choosing the best items for your needs can be a challenge! That was why Michelle created ipsy. Michelle and her team of stylists have selected products they love, for you to try.

Each month, subscribers will receive a beautiful Glam Bag with deluxe samples and full-sized beauty products. Members can watch and play along with the stylists with the same products that they are using. All for only $10 a month.

So go ahead, take the beauty quiz, get your first Glam Bag, watch the videos, and create your own!

So far, this is what our bags will contain:
  • One of the following:
    • Tinted lip balm (possibly Mica)
    • Malin + Goetz Mojito lip balm
  • One of the following:
    • Elizabeth Mott eye shadow pencil
    • Yaby foundation
  • One of the following:
    • Sexy Hair leave in conditioner
    • a makeup brush (possibly Coastal Scents)
    • Briogeo deep conditioning hair mask
    • Benefit Porefessional
    • ??? (mystery oil)
  • Any two of the following:
    • Willa Towlettes
    • A! Cleansing Tissues
    • Proactive+ Makeup Removing Wipes
    • Murad Skin Perfecting Lotion
    • Skiin Line Filler
    • Alterna Dry Shampoo
    • Apothederm Firming Serum
    • ??? (four other mystery products)

Sneak Peek #1:

Sneak Peek #1 appears to be two tinted lip balms that could be practically any brand, and one Malin + Goetz Mojito Lip Balm.  Good thing! I have too many lipsticks and not enough lip balms.


I did a little digging...  I thought maybe the two unknown lip balms were Cailyn, but Ipsy has confirmed that they are NOT Cailyn.  Dun dun dun!

It could possibly be a Mica Beauty tinted lip balm as their packaging is similar.

Sneak Peek #2:

The two pencil-like items say "smooth shadow" on them, so I believe they are Elizabeth Mott Smooth Shadow Creamy Eye Pencils. I'm guessing they are the colors Pearl, and Penny. I recently started using eyeshadow pencils and other similar items as an eyeshadow base. It really helps make my eyeshadow pop and look awesome, so I can't wait to try these, if I get one!

The tube in the middle says "Yaby" on it. I've personally never received a Yaby product in an Ipsy bag before, however, they have received items in the past.  This one looks like the Yaby Liquid Foundation. It comes in many colors that are perfect to mix with each other to create the perfect shade for anyone. But, I think Ipsy has their work cut out for them - I can see a lot of unhappy campers getting colors that are not right for them. If I get this item, I am hoping for a color correcting shade. A green one would be great to mix with my current foundation to better cancel out the redness I have in my cheeks, chin and around my nose. A lavender one would also be great because those are suppose to brighten your complexion, which is always a good thing.

I'm getting really excited for this month's Ipsy!!

Sneak Peek #3:

I spy 5 products in this photo!

The blue bottle on its side looks like a travel size Healthy Sexy Hair Soy Tri-Wheat Leave In Conditioner. I would like to to use on Lily's hair. She always gets a big rat right on the back of her head, so maybe this would help detangle that.

There is a brush on its side that could be from Coastal Scents. The exact type of brush is hard to tell, but it's narrow and pointed, so I'm guessing it's a foundation or concealer brush.

The white tub looks like Briogeo Don't Despair, Repair Deep Conditioning Mask. I deep condition my hair about once a week and I'm down to the last drops of my previous deep conditioner, so I could really use that.

 The light blue tube is definitely a deluxe sample of Benefit Porefessional. I have a deluxe sample of that right now and I love the way it smells! The texture is great; it's got a silicone feel to it when you're putting it on, but it dries to a nice powdery finish. It's good stuff! A little bit goes a long way... I've had my sample for over three months and it's about half gone.

The last item, the oil-spray, is a mystery. It could be a hair oil, or a perfume. I have no idea at this point.

Sneak Peek #4:

Everyone will get two items from the above photo. I think I see 11 products in there total, so let's see if we can figure these out.

In the back left, it looks like Willa On the Go Face Towlettes.

In the back right, the bright green package may be  A! Absolutely Make up Cleansing Tissues.

Right in front of the A! tissues looks like Proactive+ Makeup Removing Cloths.

The tube in the front left screams Murad at me ,but it's hard to tell which product exactly.  I'm guessing it's the Murad Skin Perfecting Lotion.

To the right of the Murad, in a jar is: ???

And next to the jar is: ???

And in the tub next to that: ???

Right in front of the Proactive, there is a white tube: Skiin Instant Skin Tightener and Line Filler.

Third from the right in the dark purple container: Alterna Caviar Anti-Aging Dry Shampoo

Second from the right: Apothederm Firming Serum

All the way on the right: ???

I am loving all the skincare products this month!

Sneak Peak #5:

Here's a glimpse of the bag. I think it'd be a good one to hold my bathroom stuff (face wash, makeup remover, eye cream, moisturizers, etc.).

Interesting in joining Ipsy? I'd love it if you used my referral link: 

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy New Year! 2013 Photo Review

Confession: I like to talk about myself.

I mean, who doesn't?

Granted, in person, I'm much less likely to talk about myself than I am on my own blog.  In person, it will take a lot of warming up, and trust earning, to get me to spill things that I spill openly on here.

Anyway... with the year's end, I usually look back on the previous year to see how much has changed.  So, here's a photo review of my little family's year.

January 2013

We started the year in Provo. Look how little my baby is! She worked really hard to pull herself up to a standing position to play with Laya.

End of January 2013
 Then we packed up and moved from Provo to Midvale, Utah. Lily still loves teddy bears. ♥

March 2013
In March our baby turned 1 year old. We were so happy that my parents and sisters were here for Jared's wedding and Aziz's baptism, so they could also be here for Lily's party.

April 2013
In April I turned 25! I also discovered things about my true nature and personality, and I let go of loads of old baggage. I fully dedicated myself to my brother and savior, Jesus Christ, as well as God, my father in heaven by repenting of issues that have been holding me back for years. As a result, I am tons happier, more confident in myself, and more satisfied with my life.  I also feel beautiful, for the first time in my life.

I pretty much consider my 25th birthday a HUGE turning point in my life.

May 2013
Our little girl started walking in May.  Watching children grow is crazy. It also gives me a weird mix of emotions like: I'm excited to watch them grow and learn, but I also miss the younger/smaller version, but I want to enjoy the moments as they happen, but I don't want to forget the past.  I'm messed up.

Jun 2013
 In June we started making serious preparations for a big cross-country move. I also perfected taking two dogs and toddler for a walk, as pictured above.

Seriously, it's an art. Layla is retarded on a retractable leash, while Bentley prefers a retractable leash.  Layla prefers to be on my right side, and Bentley doesn't really care...  Dogs.

I recently went through Lily's clothes, and I couldn't bring myself to let go of the outfit Lily is wearing in the picture above. I don't get attached to possessions often, but it's hard for me to get rid of her old clothes. It seriously feels like a piece of me is dying.  Like I said above, I have a whole mix of emotions when it comes to raising Lily.

July 2013
In July we traveled across the country and moved in with my parents.  It was really fun and really exciting!  New adventures are always exciting. This was Lily's first (and so far, only) visit to the beach. She absolutely loved it! We need to go again before it's too hot around here.

August 2013
In August me and Lily flew to Utah to see Elise and Aziz get married. It was hard to pick just one photo from this time because Lily was so darn cute!  She danced like a wacko, which was awesome (my sisters called it "twerking").

September 2013
September was when we randomly decided to move to Florida.  The picture above was taken at the Bluegrass festival in Raleigh, NC.

This photo was when I learned that I should not ever again wear skinny jeans.

September was also Lily's first visit to Disney World. We had a great time!

October 2013
In October we made preparations to move to Florida, and made an extra trip down there to make sure everything was ready for our new apartment. The photo above was when we discovered Lily's love for vacuums. She's a really big helper and loves to help put away her toys, and clean the house.

At the end of October we moved from Raleigh to Kissimmee.

November 2013
I didn't take many pictures in November. I spent most of the month being depressed and feeling sorry for myself. Good thing Lance took pictures...  We went to Disney parks a lot, and got to know our new surroundings.

Depression and Disney World probably aren't mentioned in the same thought very often. But, I don't think depression is logical. In fact, I know it's not logical. Luckily I only get depressed in short phases.

December 2013

In December Lily perfected her photography skills. :-)

Just kidding, but she is obsessed with our phones. Sometimes I feel like a bad parent because Lance's phone can keep her entertained for at least an hour, and I allow it so I can do whatever I want.

Sometimes I am really selfish.

<Insert really cute family photo from Christmas day that's on Lance's phone>

We had a very quiet Christmas, just the three of us.  It was bittersweet. I enjoyed not having to go anywhere, but I missed being around family and friends.

Happy New Year's Eve! I had to post a pleasant picture of myself to make up for the horribly awesome one I posted from Christmas...
I feel fairly neutral about 2014. I'm pretty sure there's no chance it will be a bigger year for our family than 2013 was. But, you never know what's in store.

Hopefully I can make some friends, and find a babysitter!

I'm not making any "real" resolutions. I'm taking a break from adding extra stress to my life.

Currently, I still need to figure out why I didn't get an updated HSA card; how to update our address on all our insurance stuff; find doctors, dentists, and make appointments...  Lily hasn't been to the doctor since June so she's behind on her shots. Lance needed a cavity filled before we left Utah but it never happened and now it hurts him like crazy, I'm thinking a root canal is in his future.  Lance's contacts are expired, so he needs a new prescription as well as new contacts and glasses, but we're both thinking we want him to get laser eye surgery. So, we'll see what happens.

Happy friggen new year!  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to eat some chocolate and drink some Coke.