Sunday, April 29, 2012


Most of my dresses don't fit me.  The ones that do, show my pouch.

You betcha, I'm crying.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


I'm really thankful I have the opportunity to work from home.  However, it is not easy.  Work was always mentally exhausting.  I don't know a stronger word than exhausted to describe how I feel.  Between taking care of a newborn, working 7 hours a day from my home, and doing Insanity, I'm beat.

And it's only Tuesday.

I'm so lucky that Lily sleeps for at least one six-hour stretch at night.  I don't know what I would do without that.  But, I would like a good 8 hours straight... 

I can't really complain about it though.  I have it easier than a lot of people.  I truly feel blessed to be in the position I am in and to have the opportunities that I have.

Lance and I have been planning some family-friendly activities to do.  This weekend we were thinking about going to the dinosaur museum in Vernal.  I haven't been there in years!

Interesting fact: The day Lance asked me to be his girlfriend, my family had gone to Vernal to the dinosaur museum.  That was July 6, 2002.  Technically Lance became my boyfriend on July 7th, because it was 1am that morning. :-)

In August we want to go to San Fransisco.  I've never been there!  The Atlanta Braves are playing against whatever baseball team is in San Fran (I don't really care for baseball...), so Lance wants to go to that game.  I think it will be a fun little getaway.  I want to see the golden gate bridge, and that famous row of houses that was the scene for the opening credits of Full House.  I also want to ride a trolley, and visit the beach.  I think these things are all doable with a 5 month old baby, no?

We also got the Seven Peaks pass of all passes (just like practically everyone else in Utah).  So we'll be doing that fun stuff too.

Hopefully I won't be too exhausted for all this stuff.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Wish Me Luck

I work today... at 10am.  I'm scared.

Lily slept ALL DAY yesterday.  I kept waking her up to feed her, but she would just fall right back asleep once she was done.  We put her to bed at about 10:30pm and she woke up at 2am. It was the first time all day that she woke up on her own.  Then she woke up again at 5am, but I ignored her until 6:30.  Call me mean, but she was fine... and I needed sleep.  I fed her at 6:30, then she stayed awake for about an hour.  She zonked out when I was about halfway through today's Insanity workout.  Luckily she was good while she was awake, though.  I put her right in front of the TV and she just stared at it.  She's still asleep now...  I'm going to wake her up and feed her again in a bit.  She'll probably stay awake for the rest of the day after that.  We'll see.

Please wish me luck. Or pray.  Prayer is is stronger.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

That's the Ticket!

I posted about how Lily gets tummy aches a lot...  and I think I've figured out the reason.

First of all, I was switching sides too often while nursing.  In the hospital they told me to nurse for 20 minutes on one side, then if Lily was still hungry to let her have the other side. Lily's doctor said to nurse for 8 minutes on one side, then switch.

I read that if you switch sides too soon and too often, the baby gets too much foremilk (thin, watery milk) and not enough hindmilk (the creamy, higher calorie, "dessert" milk).  This causes the baby's tummy to get full before the baby gets enough calories.  So then the baby either spits up, or digests too much milk at one time (causing a tummy ache), and to be hungry a lot more often than if she gets enough hindmilk.

So, I went back to how I was nursing in the first place... 20 minutes on the first side, then offering the second side if Lily is still hungry.

Well, that caused another issue.  Lily was gagging, coughing, and milk was coming out of her nose.  So now I have a problem called hyperactive let down, or something like that.  It means my milk lets down too easily, and that I have too much milk.  So, once again, Lily is getting too much foremlk and not enough hind milk.

So now I've started expressing a bit of milk before I feed her, and things are a lot better.  She's not choking or gagging, and she's not hungry every hour, and she's not getting tummy aches.

Thank friggen goodness!

Now the next issue... she's still fussy all day.  But that's just because she's a poop.

Free baby, anyone?

Insanity Week 1

Week 1 of Insanity is complete!  So far I still can't quite get through the warm up circuit one complete time without sneaking an extra rest... but I've increased to attempting to get through that and each regular circuit two times.  I'm very sweaty and very sore.

I weighed myself today.  I'm up two pounds.  Great.

This is going to be a lot harder than I thought it was.  Don't get me wrong, I knew it was going to be hard, but I never thought I'd be gaining weight.  With how jiggly my body is everywhere, I thought it would melt off in the beginning, then slow down after a while.  But no.

I'm not happy.

My cardio is already better now than it was, though.  So that's good.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Tummy Aches

Lily gets tummy aches all the time.  Does anyone know any good ways to prevent this?

I try burping her ever 5 minutes while I'm nursing, but that doesn't seem to help.  I'm pretty sure it's not what I'm eating because she has a tummy ache every day no matter what I ate that day.  Cafe Rio? Tummy ache. Salad and homemade lasagna?  Tummy ache. Chocolate and pizza? Tummy ache. Angel hair pasta with lemon cream sauce with capers and mushrooms? Tummy ache.

I have a tummy soother medicine, which seems to work, but I don't want to have to resort to it every day.

Last night Lily went to sleep at 10pm, like normal.  Woke up at 11, screaming. I burped her and rocked her back to sleep.  She woke up at 12, screaming. I burped her and rocked her back to sleep. She woke up at 1, screaming.  Then I burped her, gave her the tummy soother and her binky and she slept until 6:30am.  Poor thing.

This is totally what she does:

What are the signs of colic?

In addition to crying a lot, a colicky baby may have what appears to be abdominal pain. He sometimes screams, extends or pull up his legs, and passes gas. If your baby has colic, you may notice his tummy looks enlarged.

What the heck?  I thought exclusive nursing was supposed to make babies not have colic?  What's the point in continuing then?  If she's going to have a tummy ache either way, I might as well not kill myself nursing for hours each day.

Monday, April 16, 2012

One Week Left

This is my last week of maternity leave.  I'm scared.

My job isn't physically demanding, but it is attention demanding.  If an email comes in, it needs to responded to within 10 minutes.  If checking is ready, the tables need to be out within the hour.

I'm not worried about doing the schedule.  Emails come in all day long for it, but it doesn't need to be ready until 3:30 or 4pm.

What if checking is ready and that's when Lily decides she's starving and needs to eat for 40 minutes?

I bought a Moby Wrap, but Lily screamed her head off when I tried to nurse her hands free while using it.  I'm going to keep trying all week though, because I don't have any other ideas...  I can't check tables and/or use a computer keyboard while nursing a baby.

Lily did enjoy just hanging out on me in the Moby though, for a little while.   I think I'll be able to "wear" her while I'm working for periods of time.  I'll alternate between that, nap time in her bassinet, time in the swing, and time in the bouncer.

She actually enjoys sitting in the bouncer and staring at the TV.  It's quite cute.

I don't want to neglect her.  I don't want to make my job more important than her.  This is going to be so different because, honestly, my job has been my number one priority for the last 5 years in my life.  I'd go to work and dedicate 100% of my attention to my job.  Now it will only get 60% at the most, and that's while Lily is sleeping.

Insanity Day 1 - Again!

I'm sure everyone who reads this will just be thrilled to read that I started Insanity again today.

Of course the above statement is sarcasm.  When I do Insanity, do I write about anything else?  No.  Why?  Because Insanity is so incredibly hard that it's practically impossible to not boast about the progress I'm making.  And work out journals are a great way to keep yourself going in your workout program.  You can read how far you've come.

So, while I can't promise that I won't get obnoxious and post every day about how I'm doing with Insanity, I will promise that I'll write about other stuff too.  I mean, hello, I have a little angel in my house now, and I don't mean Layla. XD

So. As a recap...  I stopped Insanity over a year ago.  My last fit test was in March of 2011.  So as a comparison, here are today's results compared to the results of the last time I did the fit test.

Switch Kicks (2 kicks = 1 rep):
March 2011: 42.5     Current Day 1: 30

Power Jacks:
March 2011: 53        Current Day 1: 31

Power Knees:
March 2011: 88        Current Day 1: 60

Power Jumps:
March 2011: 32        Current Day 1: 15

Globe Jumps (four jumps = 1 rep):
March 2011: 9          Current Day 1: 6

Suicide Jumps:
March 2011: 13         Current Day 1: 6

Push-Up Jacks:
March 2011: 23         Current Day 1: 11

Low Plank Oblique:
March 2011: 46         Current Day 1: 15

Those numbers don't mean anything to anyone but myself.  But what it means to me is that I have a LONG way to go before I'll even be close to my pre-pregnancy fitness level.

I also have 32 pounds to lose.  Let's see what 60 days does this time.

Monday, April 9, 2012

One Month

I think it's funny how 10 months of my life seemed to drag by while I was pregnant. Then all of a sudden, as if someone hit fast-forward, the last month sped by.  I feel like I've come so far from the emotional, squishy, depressed, sleep-deprived person I was four weeks ago.

Lily is doing great.  The first week home from the hospital was hard because of how much pain I was in, how tired I was and how emotional I was.

The next two weeks were hard because I felt like all I was doing was nursing.  I'd nurse for 40 minutes, and she still wouldn't be full.  Nurse, nurse, nurse.  I almost gave up and went to formula because I was sick of sitting around nursing!  But, I didn't.  We're still formula free.

Last week was hard because Lily seemed to have a tummy ache every single day.  Fussy, fussy, fussy.  All she wanted to do was cry.  She'd cry any time other than when she was eating, and it caused her to over eat, and spit up several times.  But I'd rather have that than have her sit there and fuss at me.  I don't really believe that what I eat could cause her to have a tummy ache, but my mom seems to.  So I decided that I just would live on vitamins.  Not really, but that's what I felt like doing.  I made no restrictions in my diet, and in the last few days she hasn't had any tummy aches.  Just a phase I suppose.

Saturday night Lily slept through the night.  She slept from 10pm to 7am.  It was crazy.  I didn't sleep through the night because I kept waking up expecting her to wake up.  Lance and I both checked her on her a few times.  When I checked on her at 7am, she was wide awake in her bassinet, just looking around, hanging out, being mellow.  It was awesome!

Easter Sunday we got our first real smiles.  Lily normally smiles in her sleep, but Lance was holding her and talking to her and she looked straight at him and smiled.  Twice.  It was so cute!  Later that day, after I fed her, I was just talking to her and she looked me straight in the eye and smiled.  It made my day!  Happy Easter/one month birthday to Lily indeed!

Last night she didn't sleep through the night, but she slept for 6 hours.  I, however, could not sleep.  That wasn't fair.  I just laid in bed, wide awake, for what felt like all night.  When she woke up at 6am I was wide awake and ready to start the day.  But after feeding her, I got tired, and then I finally slept... until 11am.  When I got up at 11, Lily was still sleeping.  She's a really good sleeper.  Now if I can just get it timed so she sleeps good stretches while I'm working, we'll be golden.

I still have two weeks until I go back to work, so I'd rather not think about that now.

I was going to start Insanity today, but waking up at 11am kind of ruined that.  I can't work out in the afternoon or evening.  Well, I mean, I can't do Insanity in the afternoon or evening.  It needs to be at the bum crack of dawn or I will throw up.  So, instead, this week I'm starting to eat better, then next week I'll start working out.

I'm down 15 pounds since I came home from the hospital.  I have 32 more to lose until I'm pre-pregnancy weight.  This really bothers me, but I guess this is my reality so I'll deal with it.  I've been the same weight for two weeks in a row now, so I don't think that nursing is helping any.  Although, I think I lost an inch off each thigh.  Thank goodness, because they were HUGE!  Can you believe the ONLY place I got stretch marks was on my outer thighs?  Not on my tummy... my thighs.  That's where I gained most of my weight.

Lily's hair is RED.  I thought it was strawberry blonde, but it is RED RED RED.  I think it's pretty, but Lance is in denial.  Apparently he doesn't want a red-headed child.  Too bad for him!  I just hope she doesn't get my fair, freckly skin...

My mom leaves tomorrow.  I'm scared.  Now I really have to be a mom.  I have to figure out how to take care of Lily, myself, my house, and my husband, while working 35 hours a week.  I'm not sure I can do it.  One step at a time, I suppose.  And I realize some days will go better than others.  Here's looking at the next chapter in motherhood...