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Lance asked me to elope yesterday. The thought actually scared me
and I got a really bad feeling thinking about it. So we got in this
whole discussion about how our relationship is at the point where we
either need to start planning to get married or break up. If we
don't plan on getting married our relationship is not going anywhere and
is pointless and a waste of time. Lance wants to marry me very much,
but I don't want to marry him. The thought scares me. I can't see
myself with only him from now until forever. Maybe in 4 years...but
right now? I need to still play!
Lance's conclusion was that we are going to be apart for a couple of
days. We aren't going to talk to each other or see each other. With
that time apart I'm going to think about exactly how I feel about it,
and whether I really want to marry him or be with him or not. I asked
him, "What if it backfires? And I'm happier without you?" And Lance
said, "Then I'm not the one." So really...this could be the end of it.
I'm scared.
I love Lance, I really do...we have been together for 4 years!
Granted we did take a 6 month break in there. I guess we will see how
things turn out.
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