Learned in Raleigh

Moving to Raleigh was a good decision.  We originally thought we'd stay there more permanently, but it didn't work out that way.  I don't think it was a waste. It was a good transitioning period for our little family.  I also got to know my two youngest sisters a lot better.  I wasn't a very good big sister before I got married. Turns out, they didn't really know me at all, so I'm really glad we got to spend so much time together over the last three months.

While living with my parents and two youngest sisters, I learned lots of things. I learned a lot about myself, about my family, and about life outside of Utah.  Here are just a few of those lessons...

• If you don't put it away, it will disappear.

I think one of my mom's favorite things to do is hide things.  Just kidding. ☺  But she is notorious for moving things that aren't put where they belong.  If I leave something on the kitchen counter in the evening, by the next morning it will have disappeared due to my mom moving it "out of the way." Sometimes she will remember where she put it, sometimes she won't. However, this lesson I learned doesn't only apply to my mom, it applies to Lily.  She can scramble a house faster than I can scramble a rubix cube.  So, living with my family taught me to put away and/or hide the items that are important to me or I may not ever see them again. This helps me in our new apartment because I'm in the habit of putting things away, and therefore, my house is more organized and clean than it has been in the past. I'm not a very good housekeeper, but I am trying.

• If it's none of your business, keep your mouth shut.

This is a lesson I should have learned years ago. I tend to try to help people with their problems, but it's hardly ever (or never) well received. So, unless someone specifically asks for my help or advice, I need to butt out.  I think my help is not well received because I tend to notice what's wrong before I notice what's right.  So, that's also how I help people - pointing out what's wrong.  Nobody likes to be told what's wrong with them. I just wish people would understand that I don't mean to come across as rude or belittling. It's just what I notice. I'm working on pointing out positives before providing suggestions on things that could change or be better, but I have been working on that for a while. I just have to really think about what I say before I say it, or the real me comes out and I tell you what's wrong with <fill in the blank>, rather than what's right.

• Always have something decent to wear when you wake up, no matter what you sleep in.

I lived in a motor home from the end of July to the end of October. When I got up in the morning, I had to walk across the yard to go into the house to shower.  I suppose I could have showered in the motor home, but that shower is tiny, I would run out of water fast, and it uses a lot of propane to heat the water. So, showering inside was easier and more comfortable.  Walking across the yard naked isn't something the neighbors or the rest of my family would like to see. So, I learned to always have some kind of clothing ready to wear the next day when I went to bed the night before. This lesson still applies to our new apartment because I now have to take the dogs outside each morning, and I can't do that naked either, unless I'd like to get arrested.

• Condense your laundry.

Have you ever shared a laundry room?  It's been a loooooong time for me.  The only time in the past that I shared a laundry room was when Lance and I lived with his sister for a few months when we were first married.  It was not a pleasant experience.  Sharing with my mom wasn't bad, but I didn't want to take up her whole laundry room for a week like what I used to do at my own house.  I learned to do my laundry in one day, and to do laundry once a week.  This applies to our current apartment because I now have to go to the laundromat that is for residents only.  I do not have a washer or a dryer in my apartment.  This is definitely a first.  In fact, today was my first time using the laundromat.  Good times.  We could rent a washer and a dryer, but we're trying to spend as little money possible while Lance is out of a job.  But, even when he gets a job, I'm not sure we'll rush out and purchase laundry machines.  I mean, I pretty much enjoyed the laundromat.  Have you ever washed 4 loads of laundry at the same time?  It was AWESOME!  Once they were done washing, I separated out what needed to hang dry or lay flat to dry, and dried the rest. The machines at the laundromat here lock (not sure if they do that everywhere) so I didn't have to worry about someone stealing my machine, or moving my clothes. I went home while they dried, and went back when they were done.  I brought everything home, folded for a few minutes and BOOM, laundry done.  I could get used to this.

• It really is different outside of Utah.

I've heard it a million times, "The church is different outside of Utah." Or, "The members are different outside of Utah." Or "People are less judgmental outside of Utah."  Drove me nuts.  But guess what?  It's true.  I don't want this to come across as bashing Utah. That's not my intention. There are people on both sides everywhere, I know.  But here's my personal experience: When we were planning to leave Utah, I was a little worried. "There will be more crime!" "People will be rude!"  Why did I think that?  Because I thought having fewer Mormons around would make me less safe.  WRONG!  Can you say judgmental? Hello, just because there are fewer people who are LDS, doesn't mean the people here aren't good people. I'm embarrassed to admit that I used to think differently. One's religion does not make them a good person. Likewise, one's lack of religion doesn't make them a bad person. There are good and bad people everywhere.  So, if I, myself, one who never thought of themselves as being a judgmental Utah Mormon, could be that judgmental, imagine how judgmental the really judgmental people are.

Does that even make sense?  I can't find the words to explain it.  People are simply more accepting here and in North Carolina, whether you're in their ward or not.  You know who's not very kind? Tourists. They are so pushy. (That's one way I can tell a tourist from a local.)

• My sisters are pretty much the coolest people, ever.

Emilee and Jessica have been given some really awesome talents, and they aren't afraid to share those talents with others.  Jessica is extremely honest, even when she doesn't want to be. She also has a great gift of learning how to play instruments, and playing songs by ear. She can also sing really well.  Emilee obviously has an amazing singing voice, but she also has a really great ability to understand people. She just gets them. She also has a very strong testimony of the LDS church and she's not afraid to share it with anyone. She's the kind of person who makes me want to be a better person.

So there you go - just a few lessons I've learned.  Here are some silly pictures to (hopefully) make you forgive me for what I said about Utah:

Lily's hair flowing in the wind while she swings.

Mowing the lawn with Grandpa.

A Halloween mask - Dee Snider?

It fits my face a little too well, no? I should do my makeup like that, right?!

Lily's first ponytail.

Having fun going down a slide.

She can do it all by herself! She's so brave. :)

My hair is nasty! This was before I did my roots (But seriously, Paul Mitchell, my hair is super yellow. What the crap?!). But yeah, Lily and I actually kissed while she was swinging. She's such a sweetie.

This was at Big Lots. I need that chair.